import requests
from lxml import etree
headers = {'User-Agent': 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; Win64; x64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/69.0.3497.92 Safari/537.36',
'Cookie': 'gr_user_id = c6f58a39 - ea25 - 4f58 - b448 - 545070192c4e;59a81cc7d8c04307ba183d331c373ef6_gr_session_id = e8e4b66f - 440a - 4ae7 - a76a - fe2dd2b34a26;59a81cc7d8c04307ba183d331c373ef6_gr_last_sent_sid_with_cs1 = e8e4b66f - 440a - 4ae7 - a76a - fe2dd2b34a26;59a81cc7d8c04307ba183d331c373ef6_gr_last_sent_cs1 = N % 2FA;59a81cc7d8c04307ba183d331c373ef6_gr_session_id_e8e4b66f - 440a - 4ae7 - a76a - fe2dd2b34a26 = true;grwng_uid = 9ec14ad9 - 5ac0 - 4bb1 - 81c1 - bc60d2685710;abtest_ABTest4SearchDate = b;xzuuid = 79426b52;_uab_collina = 154660443606130958890473;TY_SESSION_ID = 907f32df - c060 - 49ca - b945 - 98215cc03475;rule_math = pvzq3r06hi'}
res = requests.get('https://www.qiushibaike.com/text/',headers = headers)
html = etree.HTML(res.text)
result = etree.tostring(html)
name1 = html.xpath('//*[@id="qiushi_tag_121525610"]/div[1]/a[2]/h2/text()')
name2 = html.xpath('//*[@id="qiushi_tag_121525610"]/div[1]/a[2]/h2/text()')[0]
print(result)
print('\n')
print(name1)
print('\n')
print(name2)輸出結果：
D:\Python\venv\Scripts\python.exe D:/Python/venv/test8.py
b'<html lang="zh-CN">\n<head>\n<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"/>\n<meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="chrome=1,IE=edge"/>\n<meta name="renderer" content="webkit"/>\n<meta name="applicable-device" content="pc"/>\n<meta name="domainverify" content="pmrgi33nmfuw4ir2ejyws5ltnbuweyljnnss4y3pnurcyithovuwiir2ejqwmyrtguzdgobsmezdgnbyheywcmzthbrdmmtemu4tamrqg5rtmirmej2gs3lfknqxmzjchiytkmrzgq4demjugaydcnd5"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<title>幽默笑話大全爆笑笑話_笑破你的肚子的搞笑段子 - 糗事百科</title>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<meta name="keywords" content="幽默笑話,爆笑笑話,搞笑段子,笑話大全 爆笑"/>\n<meta name="description" content="糗事百科官網提供幽默笑話大全,糗百網分享的各種爆笑笑話、搞笑段子,小心笑破你的肚子,精彩搞笑笑話就在糗事百科！"/>\n<meta http-equiv="mobile-agent" content="format=xhtml;url=//www.qiushibaike.com/text/"/>\n<meta http-equiv="mobile-agent" content="format=html5;url=//www.qiushibaike.com/text/"/>\n\n\n\n\n<meta name="robots" content="noarchive"/>\n<link href="//static.qiushibaike.com/css/dist/web/app.min.css?v=1a44fd15c6e802cc1ab5953bd398eea8" media="screen, projection" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css"/>\n<script type="text/javascript">\n// Baidu Automatic push content\nvar _hmt = _hmt || [];\n(function() {\nvar hm = document.createElement("script");\nhm.src = "https://hm.baidu.com/hm.js?2670efbdd59c7e3ed3749b458cafaa37";\nvar s = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0];\ns.parentNode.insertBefore(hm, s);\n})();\n// 收集運營上緩存證據\nwindow.config = {\n\'user_time\': \'2019-02-18 15:54:37\',\n\'version\': \'2017-09-04 14:36\'\n}\n</script>\n</head>\n<body>\n\n\n\n<div id="header" class="head">\n<div class="content-block">\n<div class="logo" id="hd_logo">\n<a href="/"><h1>糗事百科</h1></a>\n</div>\n<div id="menu" class="menu-bar menu clearfix" style="margin:0 10px">\n<a href="/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">熱門</a>\n<a href="/hot/" target="_blank">24小時</a>\n<a href="/imgrank/" target="_blank">熱圖</a>\n<a id="highlight" href="/text/" target="_blank">文字</a>\n<a href="/history/" target="_blank">穿越</a>\n<a href="/pic/" target="_blank">糗圖</a>\n<a href="/textnew/" target="_blank">新鮮</a>\n\n<!--<a href="http://www.youliaodao.cn" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">百科</a>-->\n</div>\n<div class="userbar clearfix hidden">\n<div class="login hidden">\n<a href="/my" class="username" id="uname" rel="nofollow"/>\n</div>\n<div class="logout">\n<a href="javascript:void(0);" class="fn-signin-required logintop" id="logintop" rel="nofollow" style="font-size:16.5px;">登錄</a>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n\n\n\n<div id="content" class="main">\n<div class="content-block clearfix">\n<!-- 暫停更新提示 -->\n<!-- <img src="/static/images/banner.png" alt="" style="width: 100%; margin: 16px 0 0; display: block"> -->\n\n<div id="content-left" class="col1">\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_long" id="qiushi_tag_121525610">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/40403533/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/4040/40403533/thumb/20190127184632.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="我咧果乖乖"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/40403533/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n我咧果乖乖\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">18</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121525610" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n在街上看到一對情侶，男的對女的說:我現在沒有房，沒有車，沒有才華，沒有天賦，你還會愛我嗎？女的哭着說:傻子，我愛的是你的心，雖然你一無所有，但你有愛我的心。最後這對情侶抱着哭在一起。…………<br/>看到這裏，我也對我的女朋友說:你會喜歡我現在一無所有嗎？女朋友聽了後，沉默了。看着女朋友，我慢慢地露出笑容，結果女朋友對我扇了一大嘴巴子，說:你還有B臉笑。<br/>…………\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">407</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121525610" data-share="/article/121525610" id="c-121525610" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">5</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121525610" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121525610" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121525610,1)" class="voting" data-article="121525610" id="up-121525610" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">408</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121525610" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121525610,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121525610" id="dn-121525610" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-1</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121525610" id="c-121525610" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121517888">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/40485675/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/4048/40485675/thumb/20190215174735.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="雲袖飛花醉月明"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/40485675/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n雲袖飛花醉月明\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">26</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121517888" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n當年我上學 ，一次考試，我得了八十分，而同桌閨蜜只得了二十分。<br/> 我就嘲笑閨蜜，閨蜜說，這是一種均衡，說明上帝是公平的，我顏值八十分，考二十分正常，剛好湊個一百分，至於你，考八十分也是爲了彌補你的顏值。<br/> 我想了一個月才明白，哦，這傢伙說我醜……\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2175</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121517888" data-share="/article/121517888" id="c-121517888" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">45</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121517888" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121517888" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121517888,1)" class="voting" data-article="121517888" id="up-121517888" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2188</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121517888" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121517888,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121517888" id="dn-121517888" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-13</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121517888" id="c-121517888" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121517888" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">amiao：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n就你這智商，我很懷疑你的八十分是怎麼來的\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n32\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121536768">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/35225229/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3522/35225229/thumb/20181128084118.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="晴～風"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/35225229/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n晴～風\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">29</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121536768" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n今天老爸和老媽吵架了，我去房間裏安慰老媽，然後，就想開個玩笑，逗老媽說：“天天吵吵，爲啥不離婚？”<br/><br/> 結果，老媽來了句，“我跟你爸商量過，在怎麼也不能離婚，因爲，我和你爸誰都不想要你的撫養權”。……\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1849</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121536768" data-share="/article/121536768" id="c-121536768" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">31</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121536768" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121536768" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536768,1)" class="voting" data-article="121536768" id="up-121536768" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">1854</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121536768" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536768,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121536768" id="dn-121536768" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-5</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121536768" id="c-121536768" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121536768" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">雲袖飛花醉月明：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n確認過眼神，你就是沙雕\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n12\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121536555">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/14849114/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1484/14849114/thumb/20180717101252.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="星劫"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/14849114/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n星劫\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">28</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121536555" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n小李心血來潮，把一段島國片的啪啪高潮部分輸入老婆的手機，可以語音撥號自己的手機。<br/> 結果，他老婆偷情的時候，語音撥號被啓動了，呼叫到他手機上，當時他的臉就綠的……\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2021</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121536555" data-share="/article/121536555" id="c-121536555" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">33</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121536555" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121536555" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536555,1)" class="voting" data-article="121536555" id="up-121536555" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2031</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121536555" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536555,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121536555" id="dn-121536555" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-10</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121536555" id="c-121536555" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121536555" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">-老司機：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n這種事多半說的就是樓主自己，小李表示不背這個鍋\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n60\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_old" id="qiushi_tag_113877300">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/30629638/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3062/30629638/thumb/2018053121284449.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="我就笑笑不語"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/30629638/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n我就笑笑不語\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">25</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/113877300" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n還記得×××;糖果殼包了個石子騙小夥伴吃的那個熊孩子麼！還記得×××;牙膏放到餅乾騙小夥伴吃的那個熊孩子麼！還記得把蘋果中間弄個小洞裏面放蟲子的熊孩子麼！還記得……好了 你不×××;說了 沒錯 我就是那個被騙的小孩！！\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">866</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/113877300" data-share="/article/113877300" id="c-113877300" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">9</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_113877300" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-113877300" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113877300,1)" class="voting" data-article="113877300" id="up-113877300" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">911</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-113877300" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113877300,-1)" class="voting" data-article="113877300" id="dn-113877300" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-45</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/113877300" id="c-113877300" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121454040">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/12593187/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1259/12593187/thumb/20181119175602.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="雙手發抖"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/12593187/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n雙手發抖\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">88</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121454040" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n女兒的同學們最近流行養兔子，她也吵着要養，老婆嫌髒不同意。我給孩子支招，讓她偷偷的給姥爺打電話，讓姥爺給她買兩個兔子，姥爺買來的東西，怎麼也不能扔了。<br/>我不知道女兒怎麼跟岳父說的，今天岳父來了，帶了兩隻兔子，一隻麻辣，一隻五香。\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">8590</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121454040" data-share="/article/121454040" id="c-121454040" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">88</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121454040" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121454040" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121454040,1)" class="voting" data-article="121454040" id="up-121454040" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">8621</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121454040" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121454040,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121454040" id="dn-121454040" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-31</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121454040" id="c-121454040" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121454040" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">在下桂忝殷：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n以前在農村住的時候，想吃兔子只需要把家裏的大黃 二黃 小黃 全部趕上山就行了\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n86\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121536766">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/12593187/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1259/12593187/thumb/20181119175602.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="雙手發抖"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/12593187/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n雙手發抖\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">88</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121536766" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n玩遊戲，很久沒聯繫的初戀女友忽然邀請我組隊，組就組唄，估計她是心情不好啥的，反正我也不說話，陪她玩了半夜，還帶她吃了兩把雞。<br/>第二天晚上，她又組我，有些不對勁啊？<br/>我神不守舍的又陪她玩了半夜。<br/>第三天晚上她又組我，打了兩把忽然明白了過來，開語音喊，“小屁孩兒，誰讓你拿你媽媽的手機玩的！”\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1764</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121536766" data-share="/article/121536766" id="c-121536766" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">22</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121536766" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121536766" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536766,1)" class="voting" data-article="121536766" id="up-121536766" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">1769</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121536766" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536766,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121536766" id="dn-121536766" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-5</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121536766" id="c-121536766" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121536766" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">騎着二哈啃黃瓜：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n這輩子沒辦法進你門，那就進你兒子的家門\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n43\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121449733">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/40143394/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/4014/40143394/thumb/20181224154038.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="程思思s"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/40143394/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n程思思s\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">0</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121449733" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n回老家玩，大伯讓我去宰只鴨做下酒菜。<br/>於是我隨便逮了一隻，放完血提着就回去。<br/>大伯問道：你宰它時，它叫喚沒？<br/>我說：不能不叫喚嘛，都割喉了。<br/>大伯：那你知道它在說啥？<br/>我：它說啥了？<br/>大伯：它在說我是鵝，我是鵝！\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">4780</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121449733" data-share="/article/121449733" id="c-121449733" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">66</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121449733" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121449733" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121449733,1)" class="voting" data-article="121449733" id="up-121449733" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">4818</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121449733" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121449733,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121449733" id="dn-121449733" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-38</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121449733" id="c-121449733" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121449733" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">隔壁小聶：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n鵝鵝鵝，曲項×××;刀割，拔毛加瓢水，點火蓋上鍋。\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n71\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121449191">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/25216936/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/2521/25216936/thumb/20181217092635.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="狸土豆大人"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/25216936/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n狸土豆大人\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">99</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121449191" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n男友送了盒口紅，整整六支。雖然是沒見過的品牌，不過看着挺精緻的，心想可能是微商那買的手工口紅。<br/>問男友多少錢，他說一百塊。我想着還好，一百一支也不算貴，沒敗家。直到後來才發現，是一百塊五支，買五送一。。。\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2362</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121449191" data-share="/article/121449191" id="c-121449191" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">44</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121449191" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121449191" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121449191,1)" class="voting" data-article="121449191" id="up-121449191" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2380</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121449191" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121449191,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121449191" id="dn-121449191" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-18</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121449191" id="c-121449191" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121449191" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">玫瑰使者：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n100一支，假一賠五\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n47\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_old" id="qiushi_tag_113879095">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/9281511/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/928/9281511/thumb/20170115210943.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="二一……"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/9281511/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n二一……\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">26</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/113879095" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n以前都是看糗百笑笑而已,現在卻要做糗百的項目，真的笑不出來了。\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">168</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/113879095" data-share="/article/113879095" id="c-113879095" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">6</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_113879095" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-113879095" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113879095,1)" class="voting" data-article="113879095" id="up-113879095" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">180</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-113879095" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113879095,-1)" class="voting" data-article="113879095" id="dn-113879095" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-12</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/113879095" id="c-113879095" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121534702">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/32019126/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3201/32019126/thumb/20160718135727.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="蜜mora"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/32019126/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n蜜mora\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">31</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121534702" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n在老家幾天老公嫌擠的慌，帶着小崽打地鋪睡牀邊，我帶大崽睡牀。半夜感覺不對勁，有人在我身上拱來拱去。麻蛋，猴急猴急也不看看幾度的天，誰要跟你被窩裏面翻紅浪，凍死一對家鴛鴦。果斷一腳撩過去，噗噗悶響，牀底下傳來了我家11個月娃的哭聲。崽啊，媽真不知道你有半夜爬牀的習慣[捂臉][捂臉]\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2099</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121534702" data-share="/article/121534702" id="c-121534702" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">40</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121534702" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121534702" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534702,1)" class="voting" data-article="121534702" id="up-121534702" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2105</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121534702" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534702,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121534702" id="dn-121534702" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-6</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121534702" id="c-121534702" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121534702" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">糗友708364：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n是你老公有半夜爬牀的習慣吧！\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n15\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121535706">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/30201529/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3020/30201529/thumb/2018062819414093.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="道士下山會女神"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/30201529/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n道士下山會女神\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">100</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121535706" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n老小區沒車庫，車都停路兩邊，一向自詡倒車技術一流的老婆非得要倒車出小區，車走走停停終於倒不走了，二貨不找自身原因，而是熄火下車轉了一圈，然後一把拉開副駕車門，上下打量我一番，驚爪爪的喊道：都怪你屁股坐歪了，我說咋倒不走了呢？\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1973</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121535706" data-share="/article/121535706" id="c-121535706" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">28</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121535706" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121535706" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535706,1)" class="voting" data-article="121535706" id="up-121535706" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">1984</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121535706" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535706,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121535706" id="dn-121535706" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-11</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121535706" id="c-121535706" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121535706" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">正版煮茶：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n讓老婆開車，更費神[大笑]\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n19\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121534174">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/33653568/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3365/33653568/thumb/2017041408455094.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="旖旎萌萌"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/33653568/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n旖旎萌萌\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">24</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121534174" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n一大早剛到公司，就看到女主管發飆，不停罵人，摔東西，後來聽同事講，女主管經人介紹相親，媒人對她說男方家挺有實力，是做鐵礦生意的，後來處了一段時間才知道，對方家是收廢鐵的！這⊙∀⊙！，，，\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">5401</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121534174" data-share="/article/121534174" id="c-121534174" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">118</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121534174" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121534174" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534174,1)" class="voting" data-article="121534174" id="up-121534174" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">5422</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121534174" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534174,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121534174" id="dn-121534174" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-21</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121534174" id="c-121534174" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121534174" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">火因毒乀：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n收廢鐵的也可以比你年薪高三倍，你信不信？\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n112\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121535981">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/6044140/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/604/6044140/thumb/20160312153401.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="有意大利炮二營長"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/6044140/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n有意大利炮二營長\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">33</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121535981" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n《流浪地球》觀後感，好萊塢的科幻災難片都是造一太空船，諾亞方舟直接把人類帶走，我國卻是連地球一起帶走，從這就可以看得出我國民對不動產的鐘愛[捂臉][捂臉][捂臉]，不動產怎麼說扔就扔呢？\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2318</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121535981" data-share="/article/121535981" id="c-121535981" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">41</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121535981" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121535981" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535981,1)" class="voting" data-article="121535981" id="up-121535981" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2326</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121535981" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535981,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121535981" id="dn-121535981" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-8</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121535981" id="c-121535981" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121535981" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">林～～寒：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n你有這感悟也是沒誰了。。。估計很快就能有銷售×××;上你的臺詞了\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n34\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_old" id="qiushi_tag_113878077">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/30628236/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3062/30628236/thumb/20151116151707.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="被醜哭的帥比"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/30628236/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n被醜哭的帥比\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">0</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/113878077" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n剛纔碰到小學時候關係挺好得同學 好長時間不見了 割割噠 到了中午飯點說要領我搓一頓 這回他請客 天真的我就跟着去了。。。麻痹！真的是“搓”一頓！這狗人既然領我去大衆洗浴搓澡！ 不說了 他的雛菊我要了！\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">356</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/113878077" data-share="/article/113878077" id="c-113878077" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">1</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_113878077" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-113878077" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113878077,1)" class="voting" data-article="113878077" id="up-113878077" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">372</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-113878077" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113878077,-1)" class="voting" data-article="113878077" id="dn-113878077" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-16</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/113878077" id="c-113878077" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121535007">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/19967299/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1996/19967299/thumb/201611061727422.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="娜時光&娜過去"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/19967299/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n娜時光&娜…\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">28</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121535007" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n我一朋友當伴郎被狠揍了一頓，事情是這樣的：接新娘子的時候女方守的嚴實，他作爲伴郎特賣力，不停拍門大喊：“開門啊，開門啊”，後來不知怎麼腦子一抽，就順嘴喊成：“開門啊，開門啊，別躲在裏面不出聲！你有本事去偷人，你有本事開門啊，開門啊開門啊，別躲在裏面不出聲，我知道你在家……”\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2083</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121535007" data-share="/article/121535007" id="c-121535007" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">25</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121535007" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121535007" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535007,1)" class="voting" data-article="121535007" id="up-121535007" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2091</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121535007" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535007,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121535007" id="dn-121535007" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-8</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121535007" id="c-121535007" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121535007" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">一世二人三餐四季：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n揍死沒有？\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n27\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121535330">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/32019126/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3201/32019126/thumb/20160718135727.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="蜜mora"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/32019126/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n蜜mora\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">31</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121535330" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n你們知道沒有暖氣的室內3度有多冷嗎？蓋着8斤的大棉被，腳還是冰冰涼的，最後還得縮起來，悄悄放我11個月兒砸的小肚皮那裏暖着……\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2835</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121535330" data-share="/article/121535330" id="c-121535330" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">195</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121535330" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121535330" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535330,1)" class="voting" data-article="121535330" id="up-121535330" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2877</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121535330" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535330,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121535330" id="dn-121535330" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-42</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121535330" id="c-121535330" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121535330" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">浪子De宿命：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n十月懷胎，就爲了生個熱水袋\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n52\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121455589">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/33028477/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3302/33028477/thumb/20190201071859.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="依麗若水"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/33028477/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n依麗若水\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">28</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121455589" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n爲了要個健康的寶寶，要老公戒菸。每天剛進門，就讓他衝我哈氣。<br/>我提鼻子一聞：“今天你抽菸了，午飯特意吃了蒜，下班前嚼口香糖想掩蓋，可蒜味口香糖後面有一股遙遠的淡淡的煙味兒”<br/>他瞠目結舌：“臥槽，我特麼是娶了個媳婦還是娶了條警.犬”\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">7171</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121455589" data-share="/article/121455589" id="c-121455589" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">87</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121455589" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121455589" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121455589,1)" class="voting" data-article="121455589" id="up-121455589" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">7203</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121455589" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121455589,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121455589" id="dn-121455589" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-32</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121455589" id="c-121455589" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121455589" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">小燕飛1206.：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n抽菸有害健康 戒菸可以延長壽命 戒了再抽 抽了再戒 如此反覆可以長生\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n148\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121534771">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/12992639/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1299/12992639/thumb/20180519105602.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="胖香"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/12992639/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n胖香\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">101</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121534771" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n經常嘚瑟自己體質棒，沒想到就啪啪打了臉，這次感冒難受好幾天也沒好，剛纔喝感冒沖劑，閨女很“單蠢”的開始笑話我：“媽媽，你果然是與衆不同的，感冒沖劑上面都寫着666！”\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">4033</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121534771" data-share="/article/121534771" id="c-121534771" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">123</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121534771" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121534771" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534771,1)" class="voting" data-article="121534771" id="up-121534771" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">4058</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121534771" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534771,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121534771" id="dn-121534771" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-25</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121534771" id="c-121534771" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121534771" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">天涯明月刀。：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n不是999估計喝不好\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n54\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_old" id="qiushi_tag_113879849">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<span style="height: 35px">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/thumb/anony.png?v=b61e7f5162d14b7c0d5f419cd6649c87" alt="匿名×××;戶"/>\n</span>\n<span>\n<h2>匿名×××;戶</h2>\n</span>\n<!-- <div class="articleGender manIcon">32</div> -->\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/113879849" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n下班遇到小學生放學，一起擠公交車。好擠。兩個7，8歲的小男孩擠得發生摩擦了，於是互相問候起來。“草你大爺”，“草你媽”，“草你姐姐”，“草你姑媽”，“草你全家”，“草你祖宗十八代”…………現在的小孩都怎麼了？？？我是個妹紙，我忽然一陣生氣，大吼一聲：草完沒有，草完回家寫作業啦。全車人都驚呆了！\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1733</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/113879849" data-share="/article/113879849" id="c-113879849" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">26</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_113879849" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-113879849" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113879849,1)" class="voting" data-article="113879849" id="up-113879849" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">1840</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-113879849" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113879849,-1)" class="voting" data-article="113879849" id="dn-113879849" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-107</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/113879849" id="c-113879849" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121535434">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/25216936/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/2521/25216936/thumb/20181217092635.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="狸土豆大人"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/25216936/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n狸土豆大人\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">99</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121535434" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n單位休息室新配置一臺按摩椅，躺上面體驗了一會，同事問：“土豆，人家都是脫了鞋子躺上面，你怎麼連襪子也脫了，太講究了啊。” 我嘿嘿一笑沒做聲，心想：老孃的襪子破洞了，不脫了豈不是影響本仙女完美氣質！\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2943</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121535434" data-share="/article/121535434" id="c-121535434" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">101</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121535434" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121535434" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535434,1)" class="voting" data-article="121535434" id="up-121535434" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2972</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121535434" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535434,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121535434" id="dn-121535434" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-29</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121535434" id="c-121535434" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121535434" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">騎着二哈啃黃瓜：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n效果不錯吧\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n210\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121534758">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/32215536/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3221/32215536/thumb/20181122212921.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="吃了兩碗又盛"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/32215536/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n吃了兩碗又盛\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">39</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121534758" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n哥們要去外地工作，我給他餞行，我有點不明白他在本地乾的好好的爲什麼偏要去外地。<br/>他說:情人節那天媳婦跟我生氣了，說跟我離婚，我就把工作辭了，找了個外地的活。<br/>我:媳婦鬧情緒哄哄就好了，這你還當真了？<br/>哥們嘆了口氣:誰說不是呢，我當時也是太沖動了，，不過還好，我說要去外地工作媳婦就跟我和好了，這就是距離產生美吧！\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1787</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121534758" data-share="/article/121534758" id="c-121534758" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">41</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121534758" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121534758" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534758,1)" class="voting" data-article="121534758" id="up-121534758" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">1798</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121534758" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534758,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121534758" id="dn-121534758" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-11</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121534758" id="c-121534758" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121534758" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">傻晴°：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n距離產生隔壁老王！\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n94\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121480191">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/37507340/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3750/37507340/thumb/20181215222805.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="奔跑的小土狼"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/37507340/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n奔跑的小土狼\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">26</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121480191" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n手機不小心進水了，暫時×××;老爸淘汰了的老年機……<br/>我三姨帶着表弟來了-借錢<br/>三姨：華子，你弟要買房，你能不能……<br/>我：姨，我只能借你一萬，今年廠效益不好，工資都是拿保底，一個月才三千多，昨天放的假，工資現在還沒到賬呢<br/>正在這時，真沒想到我爸那破老年機來短信居然自己讀：您有最新短消息~劉志勇 (老闆)向您尾號5744賬戶10:15存入一萬三千五百元，餘額一萬三千五百壹拾元，摘要:工資。[光大銀行]\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2412</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121480191" data-share="/article/121480191" id="c-121480191" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">66</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121480191" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121480191" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121480191,1)" class="voting" data-article="121480191" id="up-121480191" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2434</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121480191" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121480191,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121480191" id="dn-121480191" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-22</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121480191" id="c-121480191" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121480191" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">騎着二哈啃黃瓜：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n這話不好接，我坐着看別人裝逼吧\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n86\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121534041">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/29314260/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/2931/29314260/thumb/20190213103118.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="笨小子，說寵我"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/29314260/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n笨小子，說寵我\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">20</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121534041" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n帶着侄子去見男友，男友對侄子說，我看你像個帥哥。<br/> 侄子卻回答:“遠遠看你也像帥哥，走近這麼一看吧……”<br/> 男友問:“像什麼？”<br/> 侄子答:“像姑父。”<br/> 哎呦我臭小侄子，姑平時沒白疼你……\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">3650</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121534041" data-share="/article/121534041" id="c-121534041" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">35</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121534041" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121534041" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534041,1)" class="voting" data-article="121534041" id="up-121534041" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">3663</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121534041" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534041,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121534041" id="dn-121534041" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-13</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121534041" id="c-121534041" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121534041" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">絛子：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n投姑所好，小子可造！~\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/[email protected]?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n62\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_old" id="qiushi_tag_113879626">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/13994597/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1399/13994597/thumb/20140323165519.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="絲唸丶蔓延成海"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/13994597/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h2>\n絲唸丶蔓延成海\n</h2>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">31</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/113879626" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n艾瑪！翻了翻黃曆，發現丙申年甲午月就是明年2016年6月5日到7月3日也就是傳說中的:猴年馬月，突然感覺我有那麼多事要成真了！哈哈哈哈\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 圖片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑臉、評論數等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1997</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/113879626" data-share="/article/113879626" id="c-113879626" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">36</i> 評論\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_113879626" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-113879626" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113879626,1)" class="voting" data-article="113879626" id="up-113879626" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2141</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-113879626" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113879626,-1)" class="voting" data-article="113879626" id="dn-113879626" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-144</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/113879626" id="c-113879626" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空間" rel="nofollow">QQ空間</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n<!-- 全局翻頁組件 -->\n\n<ul class="pagination">\n\n\n<li>\n<span class="current">\n1\n</span>\n</li>\n\n\n\n\n<li>\n<a href="/text/page/2/" rel="nofollow">\n<!--<a href="/text/page/2/" rel="nofollow">-->\n<span class="page-numbers">\n2\n</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n\n\n<li>\n<a href="/text/page/3/" rel="nofollow">\n<!--<a href="/text/page/3/" rel="nofollow">-->\n<span 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onclick="window.open(\'http://static.qiushibaike.com/qiushibaike.apk\')" target="_blank">Android 下載</a>\n<p class="tips">掃碼下載糗事百科app</p>\n</div>\n</div>\n<!-- 直播下載鏈接 -->\n<div class="sidebar-hot clearfix" id="sidebar-remix">\n<a href="https://www.app-remix.com/v1/pc/living?chn=qiubai" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\', \'web-remix\', \'chick\']);" target="_blank">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/web_v3/sidebar/remix_banner.gif?v=f8bbbe7ca7cd5b9314e8235d6290fb0f" alt=""/>\n</a>\n</div>\n<!-- 浪人殺下載鏈接 -->\n<!--<div class="sidebar-hot clearfix" id="sidebar-wolf">-->\n<!--<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/web_v3/sidebar/wolf_banner.png?v=b18dc8556489b273af99197ebcf01a1c" alt="">-->\n<!--</div>-->\n<div class="sidebar-hot clearfix">\n<h3>爆笑糗事精選</h3>\n<ul>\n\n<li class="item">\n<a href="/article/121526690" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<span><img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/pictures/12152/121526690/small/40R5HG583MK2HM2D.jpg?imageView2/1/w/146/h/146" alt="爲什麼這個毛不放在裏面暖和呢"/></span>\n</a>\n<a href="/article/121526690" title="爲什麼這個毛不放在裏面暖和呢" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<p>爲什麼這個毛不放在裏面暖和呢</p>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n<li class="item">\n<a href="/article/121512784" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<span><img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/pictures/12151/121512784/small/G1091LEPK0ZQANO4.jpg?imageView2/1/w/146/h/146" alt="借個圖給你們×××;×××;而已"/></span>\n</a>\n<a href="/article/121512784" title="借個圖給你們×××;×××;而已" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<p>借個圖給你們×××;×××;而已</p>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n<li class="item">\n<a href="/article/121501944" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<span><img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/pictures/12150/121501944/small/JPZBDDZCTBYZC5NR.jpg?imageView2/1/w/146/h/146" alt="什麼情況啊！雲"/></span>\n</a>\n<a href="/article/121501944" title="什麼情況啊！雲" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<p>什麼情況啊！雲</p>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n<li class="item">\n<a href="/article/121534396" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<span><img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/pictures/12153/121534396/small/P3ZN35SKUPCDVS31.jpg?imageView2/1/w/146/h/146" alt="替我坐坐這道題吧"/></span>\n</a>\n<a href="/article/121534396" title="替我坐坐這道題吧" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<p>替我坐坐這道題吧</p>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n<li class="item">\n<a href="/article/121465153" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<span><img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/pictures/12146/121465153/small/IL9K2NEI00T5L7OC.jpg?imageView2/1/w/146/h/146" alt="我們是不是浪費掉很輛多瑪莎拉蒂"/></span>\n</a>\n<a href="/article/121465153" title="我們是不是浪費掉很輛多瑪莎拉蒂" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<p>我們是不是浪費掉很輛多瑪莎拉蒂</p>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n<li class="item">\n<a href="/article/121465608" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<span><img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/pictures/12146/121465608/small/56DAXLDFDAUEWM94.jpg?imageView2/1/w/146/h/146" alt="富貴險中求原來是這樣啊"/></span>\n</a>\n<a href="/article/121465608" title="富貴險中求原來是這樣啊" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<p>富貴險中求原來是這樣啊</p>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n<li class="item">\n<a href="/article/121483843" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<span><img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/pictures/12148/121483843/small/9VXFZZIRR0QKC2WA.jpg?imageView2/1/w/146/h/146" alt="天王蓋地虎"/></span>\n</a>\n<a href="/article/121483843" title="天王蓋地虎" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<p>天王蓋地虎</p>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n<li class="item">\n<a href="/article/121525726" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<span><img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/pictures/12152/121525726/small/KXVL581LA3JZ9S1Q.jpg?imageView2/1/w/146/h/146" alt="我算是看透了"/></span>\n</a>\n<a href="/article/121525726" title="我算是看透了" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<p>我算是看透了</p>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="sidebar-hot clearfix" id="sidebar-tab">\n<div class="tab-head">\n<h3 class="active" data-type="0">熱門</h3>\n<h3 data-type="1">話題</h3>\n<h3 data-type="2">專區</h3>\n<h3 data-type="3">推薦</h3>\n</div>\n<div 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['\n我咧果乖乖\n']
我咧果乖乖
Process finished with exit code 0
使用LXML庫解析網頁數據，etree.HTML()把網頁數據解析爲元素對象。etree.tostring()將對象轉換爲字符串輸出。使用xpath語法獲取用戶id，返回一個列表數據結構，對列表進行分片list[0],輸出列表的第一個元素。