很喜欢G每次都说six wonderful days, wonderful Dhamma！好像我们是世界上最幸运的人 like we are the most lucky person! 如果一切运作当然就是了If it works we are.
Still woke up at 1.20,2.30,3.45am something it seems like always wake up early during vipa.
如果我们能够真正生活在moment，而moment to moment一切都在变化，那么就应该没有craving和aversion， 没有clinging，拿吃东西来说来说很应景，哈，这是个实情。短暂的快乐非常不持续，每天吃饭就是10分钟，虽然想延长，但人生更多的时间是瑜伽，冥想和其它事！
我很少有do nothing时候，几乎没有，昨天就是5-6一小时，刚要看书，因为bell响下去是snack bell，就在楼下椅子躺下来看茂密的树枝，遮盖重重，有一种mini瓜果（后来妈发给我她的海南照片竟然知道这个叫莲雾，很营养，很多微量元素）平时竟然没有留意到，棕榈树映衬在后方天际，基本蓝天，美丽平静难得，就这样45分钟飞速流逝。
大厅里至少100多人，非常安静，除了几个一直咳嗽和怪声，打嗝反胃的，我已经学会接受，说不定她们身体不好；但一切井然有序，中心里人住的密度很高但感受还不多；经营vipa是个学问，绝对不是我的梦想，我的理想是如何改造和利用好wonderful dhamma，帮助更多人。
头脑想法Mental最重要，vipa含义是观察observe，observe而没有偏见，多么不容易，虽然此次感受提高很多，但感受和心智sensation，mind不够sharp，看来头脑还是不犀利brain sharp is not enough.
Enjoy!
12.30
今天第一次午餐咀嚼24次，所以多了5分钟12.26开始瑜伽，之前都是12.21pm，结束竟然时间一样；早餐后瑜伽是6.50到7.30am。
关于sensation，说是一切都在变化，但我的sensation基本很麻木，靠呼吸带动，所以每次感觉发热身体都是一样的啊，G说感受chnage，哪里有change；也许可以理解为每一刻都是变化，都不一样，但感官而言区别不大，还是mind不够sharp。
今天都是head to feet，上到下，没有花样，我感觉不错，尤其是珍惜这个难得时刻，过了本周可要工作了，其实工作我也ok，就是受不了暴饮暴食。vipa是去除所有deep habit pattern in mind对于我来说去除了喝酒，虽然有社交缺失但不是啥大不了的代价。
今天想到X和S，其实感官都是一想到直接感觉不舒服，我的第六感还是强的，说的是平时。
昨夜梦到Hang，介绍他给一个女士，结果女士听说我在DSM工作想要approach他们，我第一反应就是还有谁corporate strategy我认识，马上提醒自己没有必要帮忙，就是做好人的潜意识subconscious，其实是一种不自信，希望被人喜欢。
慢慢的修行是正事，工作是检验修行的工具，也会想到很多次，但都ok，vipa prepare准备好我接受一切后果，尽力做对的事。
其实浮现的很多高中，过去事情，我发现自己痛点不多，虽然说过快乐不多，总是在追寻什么，但也没啥致命痛苦的，都想得挺通的。
在这里反复反复冥想，为了去除业力和痛苦缘由get rid of karmas and suffering cause, 但确实做多了也不合适，目前认为自己纠正一些错误，每年一次就ok，平时坚持，可以我坚持了几个月，为啥也没sensation更多呢，要问一下P。
每次cell结束倒立很爽，还有就是唤醒能量，这两个对我很有帮助。
想到团队很多，现在团队构成很不错，这不挺享受的吗！
4.43pm
渐入佳境，甚至计划12月份是否去sri lanka或不丹内观，然后想到今年可能变化多多，不过不应该影响我该做的事情：内观。
5.05pm
很分心，感受和思路同时进行，还是头脑不够犀利，需要老师帮助。A lot of distractions,since sensation and thought seem not in conflict,which I am sure it is not good to sharpen the Brain,need ask teacher.
新的一面开启Anyhow today it is like some things opening up in the thought of business,why not going with Weikang to be public together;or I should be towards a professor like Winter,it seems both ways are possible.
下午比上午挑战，上午很忙绿，每个事情back to back，下午就是cell可以有意思一些，一个小时不动冥想也可以接受。Afternoon is tough one since morning u got a lot of things to expect: breakfast,lunch even both are 10 minutes,then ashtanga 1 and 2,busy. But afternoon is hard,today it is not bad with two parts in cell and one hour without movement is durable.
I think some 恶势力在擡头，我已经以拔干不净的思维为基础，突然很多工作上需要做的事情出现，其实应该慢慢淡忘啊；人事，出路等等。原来我并不是要做J而是winter！
身体基本恢复到ok状态，没啥秘诀就是不吃啊，过午不食这有多难，在这里一点不难，回到上海很难。中午土豆泥还有白菜和豆腐皮，都不错，这里伙食确实比印度好。
会想到工作中面临很多事，就是心态很平和，对啥都没有很大期望值，实现很好，不实现也不失望，所以说craving如果是fame更大影响，这毛病好像被治的差不多了，爱吗，原来是这个循环！这是我最大craving，还不是花生！
8.15
this is most important time for learning: misery-sensation-craving/clinging-6 senses-mind and matter- consciousness - sankaras
If we can get sensation equanimous we can cut the roof of sankaras which means misery
I am miserable all the time, repeating the same mistake in life no matter wanting, craving and eating; do I want to go back to the same life and same pattern and same habit, no.
Goenkaji is so lovely and I just want to hug him,when I see his face and body(normally I do not like fat people)just like a buddha and first night I dreamed about him and now I just love him,he makes me feel peaceful this is so called real guru,not excepting u only with his charisma like S
This is the moment,this is the chest,this is the feeling,this is me exciting in this world,that is how I felt during the past one hour sitting.
Nun is picking up fruits,girl is asking for banana,they are real hungry I am not.
Looking at the trees during the break time,I see squirrel looking at me,so small comparing with New York,how is their life like? Is it luckier be in the center of Vipa. I see eagle and many birds singing,this is the best part of the surroundings. I think I like this center even better,although my room is not that great,but I manage the routine well and now it is becoming nicer.
I should not expect this 5 days pass sooner,that is the same misery right,I look forward to its coming,count down on it then when I am in it I want it over sooner,how miserable is this,this is my life,admit it and it is not that great. I try to see it positively but it is not. I am in this cycle of continuing searching,when Patrick said so I was not that pleased but it made me think;now I now he is right,I am constantly searching for something I do not have.
I should get this book or video 4,5,which are so good. Tks Goenkaji,I am blessed here to hear this finally I got the logic!!!
以上是晚上回来性情所致即兴发挥，就留它原来面目吧，相逢有缘人！
今天一大早反复听一行禅师“佛陀传”一段话：降伏欲念，修行观想死尸，降伏贪欲，修行无常；降伏散落，修行观想气息的呼吸，降伏嗔怒，修行慈悲！这个每天小事情做起很有效啊，但某一个欲望升起，就想到即使满足也是短暂，但后果是长期的，所以需要管理欲望，从每一天小事做起！