Sleepy head

I'm not gonna lie. I feel awful these days. I had a bad conversation with HRBP in my new company.

I have to say I feel like a fish out of water. The job vacancy there is actually like a pitfall. My line manager resigned on the day I joined the company. My colleague's afraid of being losing career because of my onboarding. Therefore, I am in a really awkward situation now.

My colleague and I are not like a team, but like two competitors in the same pool. I am a fresh there, she is within the company almost 11 years. 

The HRBP is on her team, which I found during the last conversation. What a fool of my line manager thinks HRBP as a good person. HRBP speaks badly of my line manager. I'm sure that she and my colleague said bad words of my line manager to our CEO. And I'm pretty sure that they will do the same thing to me.

Although I'm in a bad position and bad mood now, I have to face it bravely without anyone's help. Never give up, stand up, speak up to face what I have to.

The other thing I've learned that you need to have your own career, rather than earn your living by working for others. Hopefully, Joe has been registering a company now. We are going to have our own business.

Suddenly, I understand my mom better. Too much family burden on parents' shoulder, we can't quit something without thinking. As a mom now, I have to take care of the elderly, my son. 

Life is harsh sometimes, but it isn't always that way. Overcome obstacles in front of yourself, sunshine will come. When you are frustrated, time will be your friends. Don't be so hard on yourself, you are who you are. You can be a soldier, you can be anything as long as you're determined to. 

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