What does it mean to be a man today?
這個題目是什麼意思？讓男人迴歸本真：強壯而不失溫和，勇敢而不失溫情；勇於追求並擁有美好的事物，關心他人、勤勞、幽默、溫柔、充滿智慧……
男人在不同的人生階段擔任着不同的社會角色，而且總是不斷交織在一起，賦予了男性這一形象的多樣性。在向成功的彼岸努力奮鬥的過程中，男人逐漸喪失了許多本應具備的品格，許多的負面評價也隨之而來：怯於承諾、自負、迴避交流、虛僞等等。男人在擁抱成功、擁抱世界的同時，如何找回真正的自己？
一個男人如何既表現自己的男子氣概，又不顯得冷漠無情或自我封閉？一個男人最好的表現自己的方式是什麼呢？
How can men consciously express their masculinity without becoming cold or closed-hearted on the one hand… or wimpy and emasculated on the other? What’s the most loving way for a conscious man to express himself?
下面是１０種方法，讓你活得更像男人。Here are 10 ways to live more consciously as a man:
１．成爲拿主意的人
真正的男人懂得且尊重選擇。他過着他自己想要的生活。他知道，當他做出選擇時，生命就向前發展，當他停止選擇時，生命也隨之停頓了。
A man understands and respects the power of choice. He lives a life of his own creation. He knows that life stagnates when he fails to decide and flourishes when he chooses a clear path.
當真正的男人做出選擇時，他打開了他希望打開的那扇門，同時關上了他希望關上的門。他就像一枚導彈一樣鎖定了目標。他清楚，沒有任何人可以保證他最終達到目標，事實上他並不需要這種保證。他只是簡單地享受按下發射按鈕的快樂。
When a man makes a decision, he opens the door he wants and closes the doors he doesn’t want. He locks onto his target like a guided missile. There’s no guarantee he’ll reach his target, and he knows this, but he doesn’t need such guarantees. He simply enjoys the sense of inevitability that comes from pushing the launch button.
真正的男人不需要別人的肯定。他更希望追隨自己的內心。當一個男人能夠傾聽自己內心的聲音時，即使整個世界都跟他做對，都無所謂。
1. Make real decisions.
A man doesn’t require the approval of others. He’s willing to follow his heart wherever it leads him. When a man is following his heart-centered path, it’s of little consequence if the entire world is against him.
２．爲了你的理想而活着，不要爲了某些人而活着
如果一個男人說他的首要責任是他的妻子或家庭的話，他要麼是在說假話，要麼是太軟弱，這種人不能相信。他把忠誠放錯了地方。一個男人把個人的價值凌駕於他自己的理想之上是可悲的，他不是一個在思想上自由的人。
A man who claims his #1 commitment in life is his relationship partner (or his family) is either too dishonest or too weak to be trusted. His loyalties are misplaced. A man who values individuals above his own integrity is a wretch, not a free thinker.
一個男人知道，他必須把自己奉獻給比滿足一小撮人的需要更加偉大的事情上去。他不想被馴服，但他希望承擔更加偉大的責任和更加巨大的挑戰。他知道，當他在偉大面前退縮，他將不再是一個完全的男人。當別人看到他堅持自己的信念毫不妥協，即便是得不到直接的支持，他也至少會獲得信任和尊敬。一個男人違反自己的價值觀行事時，一定會失去別人的尊敬，也會失去他對自己的尊敬。
A man knows he must commit to something greater than satisfying the needs of a few people. He’s not willing to be domesticated, but he is willing to accept the responsibility that comes with greater challenges. He knows that when he shirks that duty, he becomes something less than a man. When others observe that the man is unyieldingly committed to his values and ideals, he gains their trust and respect, even when he cannot gain their direct support. The surest way for a man to lose the respect of others (as well as his self-respect) is to violate his own values.
生活會考驗一個男人，看他是忠於某些人還是忠於自己的原則。會有很多誘惑擺在他的面前，來檢驗他的信念。當一個男人正直地活着，爲了自己的信念而活着，他將會得到豐厚的回報，而當一個男人苟且地活着，沒有原則地活着，那他將得到最大的懲罰。無論何時，只要這個男人選擇了犧牲掉自己的原則，那他就失去了自由，也失去了自我，最終變成一個可憐蟲。
2. Put your relationships second.
Life will test the man to see if he’s willing to put loyalty to others ahead of loyalty to his principles. The man will be offered many temptations to expose his true loyalties. A man’s greatest reward is to live with integrity, and his greatest punishment is what he inflicts upon himself for placing anything above his integrity. Whenever the man sacrifices his integrity, he loses his freedom… and himself as well. He becomes an object of pity.
３．願意失敗Be willing to fail.
真正的男人，是願意犯錯誤的。他會不斷地嘗試，即使不斷地失敗也無所謂，因爲他知道，這比無所事事要強得多。
A man is willing to make mistakes. He’s willing to be wrong. He’d rather try and fail than do nothing.
一個男人的自信是他最寶貴的財產之一。當他猶豫時，當他害怕失敗時，他就把自己貶低了。一個聰明的男人可以預見到失敗，但他絕不會去無謂地擔心。他接受失敗，一旦失敗，他也可以積極地應對。A man’s self-trust is one of his greatest assets. When he second-guesses himself by worrying about failure, he diminishes himself. An intelligent man considers the prospect of failure, but he doesn’t preoccupy himself with pointless worry. He accepts that if a failure outcome occurs, he can deal with it.
男人在失敗中比在成功中更容易成長。成功對於他來說不是考驗，而失敗則可以測試他的決心和毅力。雖然成功對人來說也是一種挑戰，但失敗卻因爲充滿風險而讓男人能從中學到更多。當男人過於小心翼翼，他的生命就失去了活力，他的生活也變得狹窄。
A man grows more from failure than he does from success. Success cannot test his resolve in the way that failure can. Success has its challenges, but a man learns more about himself when he takes on challenges that involve risk. When a man plays it safe, his vitality is lost, and he loses his edge.
４．自信 Be confident.
真正的男人不會刻意去表現自信，因爲他知道自己終將成功。A man speaks and acts with confidence. He owns his attitude.
他知道，失敗只是一個可能的結果，即使成功率明顯不高，他仍然會散發出自信。這不是因爲他故意掩飾，也不是因爲他不願承認，而是因爲他要證明給自己看，他有超越自我的能力。這些造就了他最重要的兩個品質——勇氣和堅持。
A man doesn’t adopt a confident posture because he knows he’ll succeed. He often knows that failure is a likely outcome. But when the odds of success are clearly against him, he still exudes confidence. It isn’t because he’s ignorant or suffering from denial. It’s because he’s proving to himself that he has the strength to transcend his self-doubt. This builds his courage and persistence, two of his most valuable allies.
真正的男人可以被全世界打敗，可以被他無法控制的環境擊垮，但他拒絕被自卑壓倒。他知道，當他不再相信自己，他就一定會失敗。他可以向命運妥協，但絕不會向恐懼低頭。
A man is willing to be defeated by the world. He’s willing to be taken down by circumstances beyond his control. But he refuses to be overwhelmed by his own self-doubt. He knows that when he stops trusting himself, he is surely lost. He’ll surrender to fate when necessary, but he won’t surrender to fear.
５．積極地表達愛情 Express love actively.
真正的男人應該積極地給予別人愛，而不是一個被動地接受者。他應該是第一個發起談話的人，第一個噓寒問暖的人，第一個說“我愛你”的人。對於男人來說，等待別人率先採取行動是不合適的。在你不打開心胸採取行動之前，這個世界不會主動擁抱你。
A man is an active giver of love, not a passive receiver. A man is the first to initiate a conversation, the first to ask for what’s needed, and the first to say “I love you.” Waiting for someone else to make the first move is unbecoming of him. The universe does not respond positively to his hesitation. Only when he’s in motion do the floodgates of abundance open.
男人是發動機。跟別人分享他的愛是他的工作，是他的義務。他必須避免自己依靠從別人那裏獲得能量，而變成一個能量的釋放者，把能量傳遞給整個世界。當他接受了這個角色，他將會毫無疑問地成爲一個真正的男人。
Man is the out-breath of source energy. It is his job — his duty — to share his love with the world. He must wean himself from suckling the energy of others and become a vibrant transmitter of energy himself. He must allow that energy to flow from source, through him, and into the world. When he assumes this role, he has no doubt he is living as his true self.
６．讓性慾變得合理 Re-channel sex energy.
真正的男人不隱藏他的性慾。如果別人因爲他太男人而在他面前退縮，他將毫不在意。對於他來說，沒有任何必要爲了避免嚇壞害羞的人而降低自己的能量。真正的男人接受性別賦予他的一切，他從不爲自己的天性而感到愧疚。
A man doesn’t hide his sexuality. If others shrink from him because he’s too masculine, he allows them to have their reaction. There’s no need for him to lower his energy just to avoid frightening the timid. A man accepts the consequences of being male; he makes no apologies for his nature.
不過，真正的男人絕不會允許自己被慾望左右。他會把性慾帶來的能量分配一些給大腦和內心，讓這些能量爲更高的理想服務而不是僅僅停留在動物本能的階段。
A man is careful not to allow his energy to get stuck at the level of lust. He re-channels much of his sexual energy into his heart and head, where it can serve his higher values instead of just his animal instincts. (You can do this by visualizing the energy rising, expanding, and eventually flowing throughout your entire body and beyond.)
A man channels his sexual energy into his heart-centered pursuits. He feels such energy pulsing within him, driving him to action. He feels uncomfortable standing still. He allows his sexual energy to explode through his heart, not just his genitals.
真正的男人會把性慾帶來的能量輸送給他的內心，爲他的理想服務。他會感覺到這種能量在身體裏脈動，給他行動的力量。他會爲無所事事而不舒服，他讓這些能量通過他的內心而爆發，而不是讓它們僅僅通過生殖器而爆發。
７．直面恐懼 Face your fears.
For a man, being afraid of something is reason enough to do it. A man’s fear is a call to be tested. When a man hides from his fears, he knows he’s fallen out of alignment with his true self. He feels weak, depressed, and helpless. No matter how hard he tries to comfort himself and achieve a state of peace, he cannot overcome his inner feeling of dread. Only when facing his fears does a man experience peace.
一個人因爲某種原因產生恐懼是非常正常的。恐懼是你將受到考驗的信號。當一個男人掩飾自己的恐懼時，他清楚自己在喪失自我。他會感受到軟弱，沮喪和無助。無論他怎麼努力讓自己平靜下來，他都無法遏制發自內心的恐懼。只有直面恐懼，他才能獲得平靜。
A man makes a friend of risk. He doesn’t run and hide from the tests of fear. He turns toward them and engages them boldly.
真正的男人會同危險成爲朋友。在恐懼面前他不會逃避，他轉過身，面對恐懼，並由此獲得勇氣。
A man succeeds or fails. A coward never makes the attempt. Specific outcomes are of less concern to a man than his direction. 真正的男人，要麼失敗，要麼成功，不嘗試的人就是懦夫，真正的男人更看重方向是否正確，而不是具體的結果如何。
當一個男人踏上正確的道路，直面恐懼時，他更像是一個真正的男人。當他戰勝恐懼時，就像一個在暴風雨中航行的勇士一樣，讓他更像一個男人了。
A man feels like a man whenever he faces the right way, staring straight into his fears. He feels even more like a man when he advances in the direction of his fears, as if sailing on the winds of an inner scream.
８．毫無保留地支持朋友Honor the masculinity of other men.
When a man sees a male friend undertaking a new venture that will clearly lead to failure, what does the man do? Does he warn his friend off such a path? No, the man encourages his friend to continue. The man knows it’s better for his friend to strike out confidently and learn from the failure experience. The man honors his friend’s decision to reach out and make the attempt. The man won’t deny his friend the benefits of a failure experience. The man may offer his friend guidance, but he knows his friend must fail repeatedly in order to develop self-trust and courage.
真正的男人，看到自己的男性同伴做一件註定會失敗的事情時，該怎麼辦？他應該去勸阻嗎？不，他應該鼓勵他的朋友繼續下去。因爲真正的男人知道，讓他的朋友充滿自信地奮鬥，從失敗當中吸取教訓，獲得經驗，是最好的選擇。真正的男人尊重朋友的選擇，鼓勵朋友去嘗試。真正的男人不會否定他的朋友用失敗來換取經驗。他會幫助他的朋友，但他知道，他的朋友必須不斷地失敗，才能獲得勇氣和自信。
When you see a man at the gym struggling to lift a heavy weight, do you jump in and say, “Here… let me help you with that. Maybe the two of us can lift it together”? No, that would rob him of the growth experience — and probably make a quick enemy of him as well.
當你看到一個男人在健身房裏使勁渾身力氣舉起沉重的槓鈴時，你會過去跟他說“讓我幫你把它舉起來”嗎？當然不會！因爲這不是在幫他，說得嚴重一點兒，這是在與他作對。
The male path is filled with obstacles. It typically includes more failures than successes. These obstacles help a man discover what’s truly important to him. Through repeated failures a man learns to persist in the pursuit of worthy goals and to abandon goals that are unworthy of him.
男人的生命，應該是充滿艱難險阻的，應該是失敗多於成功的。這些障礙會讓他發現什麼東西對他來說是真正重要的。通過不斷的失敗，真正的男人會學會如何堅持追求真正有價值的東西，放棄沒有價值的追求。
A man can handle being knocked down many times. For every physical setback he experiences, he enjoys a spiritual advancement, and that is enough for him.
真正的男人即使被一次次地打倒，也能一次次地站起來。他經歷的每一次打擊，都是一次精神上的進步，對於他來說，這就足夠了。
９．負起對親人的責任. Accept responsibility for your relationships.
真正的男人會自主地選擇朋友，愛人及其它所有夥伴。他會積極主動地尋找那些給他帶來啓示和挑戰的夥伴，也會有意識地避開那些拖他後腿的人。
A man chooses his friends, lovers, and associates consciously. He actively seeks out the company of people who inspire and challenge him, and he willingly sheds those who hold him back.
真正的男人在遇到人際關係上的問題時，不會責怪別人。當一個關係不再適合他時，他會主動要求分開，既不會責怪別人，也不會抱有歉疚。
A man doesn’t blame others for his relationship problems. When a relationship is no longer compatible with his heart-centered path, he initiates the break-up and departs without blame or guilt.
真正的男人在人際關係中是可靠的。他會負責人地對待別人，即使別人不負責地對待他，他也會以自己的行動化解這些不和諧。
A man holds himself accountable for the relationships he allows into his life. He holds others accountable for their behavior, but he holds himself accountable for his decision to tolerate such behavior.
真正的男人通過他仔細經營的人際關係來告訴別人，他希望和什麼樣的人交朋友。他決絕讓自己的生命充滿了不和諧的關係，更不用說具有破壞性的關係，他知道，這些都是一種自虐。
A man teaches others how to treat him by the relationships he’s willing to allow into his life. A man refuses to fill his life with negative or destructive relationships; he knows that’s a form of self-abuse.
10. Die well. 平靜地死去
對於一個男人來說，最大的挑戰就是提高內心的力量，找到真正的自己。他必須學會把自己的愛毫無保留地同全世界分享。當一個男人對於他在這方面的所作所爲感到滿意時，他就能平靜地死去。但如果他在這方面沒有成功，死亡就會變成他的敵人，整天困擾着他。
A man’s great challenge is to develop the inner strength to express his true self. He must learn to share his love with the world without holding back. When a man is satisfied that he’s done that, he can make peace with death. But if he fails to do so, death becomes his enemy and haunts him all the days of his life.
A man cannot die well unless he lives well. A man lives well when he accepts his mortality and draws strength from knowing that his physical existence is temporary. When a man faces and accepts the inevitability of death… when he learns to see death as his ally instead of his enemy… he’s finally able to express his true self. So a man isn’t ready to live until he accepts that he’s already dead.
男人，只有活得好，才能平靜地死去。如何才能活得好呢？他需要接受自己終將死去的事實，並從中獲得力量。當一個男人直面無法避免的死亡時，當一個男人把死亡看做是夥伴而不是敵人時，他就能找到真實的自己。所以，真正的男人只有接受了死亡才能好好地生活。