程序員 ：我懷疑你在偷窺我的生活

{"type":"doc","content":[{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"軟件工程師的日常生活總是波瀾起伏的。我們每天都得和男性\/女性（經理）和機器打交道。因此，需要有真正的勇氣才能成爲一名程序員。"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"image","attrs":{"src":"https:\/\/static001.geekbang.org\/resource\/image\/49\/10\/499a5836b6934a7b527fdbyy468b4e10.png","alt":null,"title":null,"style":[{"key":"width","value":"75%"},{"key":"bordertype","value":"none"}],"href":null,"fromPaste":true,"pastePass":true}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"笑話和連環漫畫簡直是描寫開發人員日常生活的最佳方式。所以我爲你帶來了一些基於程序員真實生活事件的有趣笑話，請大家笑納，相信你會笑出聲來的。"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"blockquote","content":[{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"注意：如果你正在喝熱飲，請在繼續閱讀之前先放在一邊吧。"}]}]},{"type":"heading","attrs":{"align":null,"level":2},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"靈光乍現時"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"程序員的大腦總是在忙着尋找新的想法或試圖找到問題的解決方案。即使在響應地球引力的呼喚時，他們也一直在思考。而且當他們終於閃過那個好主意時，一秒鐘都不能等了，馬上要去試一下！"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"image","attrs":{"src":"https:\/\/static001.geekbang.org\/resource\/image\/9b\/f7\/9b82297bcb9ba9971065579b6de01df7.jpg","alt":null,"title":null,"style":[{"key":"width","value":"75%"},{"key":"bordertype","value":"none"}],"href":null,"fromPaste":true,"pastePass":true}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"哦等等，這纔是第一個笑話呢。請一直看到最後吧，看看程序員是怎麼被美麗的心靈玩得團團轉的。"}]},{"type":"heading","attrs":{"align":null,"level":2},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"保持簡單"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"幾乎所有公司都希望他們的應用程序和管道採用最新最好的技術。手頭的任務是否需要這些工具和軟件根本不重要。誰還在乎什麼“保持簡單”的原則啊！"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"image","attrs":{"src":"https:\/\/static001.geekbang.org\/resource\/image\/81\/7c\/811b33c87808076aa102fb72e754627c.png","alt":null,"title":null,"style":[{"key":"width","value":"75%"},{"key":"bordertype","value":"none"}],"href":null,"fromPaste":true,"pastePass":true}},{"type":"heading","attrs":{"align":null,"level":2},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"時間總是相對的"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"程序員們太理解相對論了。每週五（或週六，如果你是996的話）總是顯得遙遙無期，但一旦盼來了週五（或週六），接下來的兩天（或一天）就一晃而過了。"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"image","attrs":{"src":"https:\/\/static001.geekbang.org\/resource\/image\/0c\/ae\/0ced0c9cfa50a3f838111673f5334dae.jpg","alt":null,"title":null,"style":[{"key":"width","value":"75%"},{"key":"bordertype","value":"none"}],"href":null,"fromPaste":true,"pastePass":true}},{"type":"heading","attrs":{"align":null,"level":2},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"信任被高估"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"程序員都不喜歡被跟進工作進度。他們知道如何做好自己的工作並承擔責任。你需要相信他們會在截止日期前交付。"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"image","attrs":{"src":"https:\/\/static001.geekbang.org\/resource\/image\/2d\/06\/2d0ee49f130109886d4f77d1ee04f406.jpg","alt":null,"title":null,"style":[{"key":"width","value":"75%"},{"key":"bordertype","value":"none"}],"href":null,"fromPaste":true,"pastePass":true}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"不過你之前要是被他們坑過，那就是另一回事了。遇到這種情況的話也別多問，跟進就是了。"}]},{"type":"heading","attrs":{"align":null,"level":2},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"地球上最強的人"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"我們，程序員，離開谷歌就不會編程了。StackOverflow是我們解決日常問題的首選聖地。如果真的有強者大賽，那麼不用谷歌就能編程的程序員肯定能獲得全滿分。"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"image","attrs":{"src":"https:\/\/static001.geekbang.org\/resource\/image\/bc\/c4\/bc1637939b7f48ffea5a1cc8799ab1c4.png","alt":null,"title":null,"style":[{"key":"width","value":"75%"},{"key":"bordertype","value":"none"}],"href":null,"fromPaste":true,"pastePass":true}},{"type":"heading","attrs":{"align":null,"level":2},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"恐怖的生產"}]},{"type":"image","attrs":{"src":"https:\/\/static001.geekbang.org\/resource\/image\/16\/b8\/16e4968cb43b5cb49cafcfb6d76195b8.jpg","alt":null,"title":null,"style":[{"key":"width","value":"75%"},{"key":"bordertype","value":"none"}],"href":null,"fromPaste":true,"pastePass":true}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"當談到更改時，只有勇敢和純潔的靈魂才能在生產環境中下手。對於我們其他普通程序員來說，非產品環境最適合搞各種破壞了。"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"因此，在將手指放在鍵盤上之前，請先確認再確認，你到底在哪個環境中工作。"}]},{"type":"heading","attrs":{"align":null,"level":2},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"程序員的精彩生活"}]},{"type":"image","attrs":{"src":"https:\/\/static001.geekbang.org\/resource\/image\/f1\/31\/f195493377695a829713a649d66fc431.png","alt":null,"title":null,"style":[{"key":"width","value":"75%"},{"key":"bordertype","value":"none"}],"href":null,"fromPaste":true,"pastePass":true}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"我們程序員總是在忙着做我們最喜歡做的事情，寫代碼。就算我們在睡覺，我們還不是會做夢嗎。所以我想了想，我得找一個新的愛好，把我的注意力從編程上移開。"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"我做了什麼呢？我開始找一個"},{"type":"link","attrs":{"href":"https:\/\/xie.infoq.cn","title":"","type":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"平臺"}]},{"type":"text","text":"寫編程文章啦。"}]},{"type":"heading","attrs":{"align":null,"level":2},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"請不要甩鍋"}]},{"type":"image","attrs":{"src":"https:\/\/static001.geekbang.org\/resource\/image\/2d\/06\/2d0ee49f130109886d4f77d1ee04f406.jpg","alt":null,"title":null,"style":[{"key":"width","value":"75%"},{"key":"bordertype","value":"none"}],"href":null,"fromPaste":true,"pastePass":true}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"在軟件開發中，除非經理指出了什麼問題，否則什麼事情都不是問題。由於人員責任和流程的關係，管理人員很難眼觀六路、耳聽八方。所以還是讓他們少費點心吧。"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"下次你想指出他們的錯誤（責任）時，請在他們背後說就行了。"}]},{"type":"heading","attrs":{"align":null,"level":2},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"現實主義經理"}]},{"type":"image","attrs":{"src":"https:\/\/static001.geekbang.org\/resource\/image\/d0\/1c\/d0b0ba55bd9bbc9ea860687fdc93a01c.jpg","alt":null,"title":null,"style":[{"key":"width","value":"75%"},{"key":"bordertype","value":"none"}],"href":null,"fromPaste":true,"pastePass":true}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"我總是很驚訝地發現，不同的人對完全一樣的數字竟然能有截然不同的理解。根據他們的視角，看待同樣事物的結論可以從高度肯定一路變到完全否定。但現實主義者總是會說實話。"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"現在，我們肯定都希望有一個現實主義的經理吧！"}]},{"type":"heading","attrs":{"align":null,"level":2},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"這個太有共鳴了"}]},{"type":"image","attrs":{"src":"https:\/\/static001.geekbang.org\/resource\/image\/7f\/5a\/7f3caaa340289yy005aa7420d1b53f5a.png","alt":null,"title":null,"style":[{"key":"width","value":"75%"},{"key":"bordertype","value":"none"}],"href":null,"fromPaste":true,"pastePass":true}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"開發人員給錯誤建立日誌，然後在Splunk中建立一個電子郵件通知，在每次發生錯誤時提醒他們。最棒的是，他們把羣組電子郵件ID添加到通知裏了。"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"結果——數百封通知電子郵件大多自動轉到了垃圾文件夾，沒有人查看它們。"}]},{"type":"heading","attrs":{"align":null,"level":2},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"我知道我們都喜歡發點獎勵"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"好了，笑話講得差不多了。"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null},"content":[{"type":"text","text":"很多時候這些想法都行不通。然後程序員又回到了他們的王國，在試圖完成他們之前未竟事業的同時大腦繼續天馬行空。"}]},{"type":"paragraph","attrs":{"indent":0,"number":0,"align":null,"origin":null}},{"type":"image","attrs":{"src":"https:\/\/static001.geekbang.org\/resource\/image\/57\/02\/574f23ea9477bd96616e9f2ca421a602.png","alt":null,"title":null,"style":[{"key":"widt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