The Purpose Of Life Is Not Happiness: It’s Usefulness
Always be userful
整合自己想法的總結
我們該如何界定我們的人生目標嗎？相信很多人的人生目標就是開開心心的，幸福就行，但這裏邊會出現一個問題，如果我們把人生目標設置爲幸福，那麼爲了幸福，我們可能也會把購物，打遊戲，去旅遊，聚餐等等作爲我們人生目標的一部分，但往往在實現這些事情，發完了朋友圈，我們會有短暫的空虛感，這是我們想要的目標嗎？接着我們會投入更多的精力去思考怎樣讓自己更開心，可能會買更多東西，打更多的遊戲，去新的地方浪等等。
換個角度去思考，是不是旅遊、去購物等這些讓自己開心的事，並不負有真正上的人生意義呢？那麼人生意義與幸福之間有什麼聯繫？
真正會讓自己開心的時候，往往是因爲我有價值、我有用、我做了改變讓自己不一樣的時候。幸福只是我們實現價值時候的副產品，而不是我們的人生目的。目的是我們有價值的，有用的結果。
當你把人生目標定義爲讓自己成爲有用的人，在創造價值而付出汗水的時候，例如說你爲了實現自己某一個idea而通宵趕工，有外人會邊享受着他們的“幸福”（看電視，去happy）邊否定你：“爲什麼你老是那麼拼命”？但當我們實現這個idea，並造福身邊的人，我們會很開心，會有更加充足的滿足感，會想着再完善它，或者是追求更加有價值的事投入進去。這是有效的人生目標，實現了人生的里程碑，同時收穫幸福與快樂。
讓自己有價值，是一種生活態度。不要讓自己閒下來，不要爲了讓自己開心就放縱自己，因爲追求幸福這都不會長久的。吾日三省吾身，自己所做的一切是否是正道，是否能夠讓自己有所作爲，方向對了，持續的堅持下去，幸福自然就會衍生出來。
單詞學習
- stuff 東西；材料
- deathbed 臨終
- legacy 遺產
- mindset 心態，習慣，生活狀態
- byproduct 副產品
- collage 貼畫
- spouse 配偶
For the longest time, I believed that there’s only one purpose of life: And that is to be happy.
Right? Why else go through all the pain and hardship? It’s to achieve happiness in some way.
And I’m not the only person who believed that. In fact, if you look around you, most people are pursuing happiness in their lives.
That’s why we collectively buy shit we don’t need, go to bed with people we don’t love, and try to work hard to get approval of people we don’t like.
Why do we do these things? To be honest, I don’t care what the exact reason is. I’m not a scientist. All I know is that it has something to do with history, culture, media, economy, psychology, politics, the information era, and you name it. The list is endless.
We are who are.
Let’s just accept that. Most people love to analyze why people are not happy or don’t live fulfilling lives. I don’t necessarily care about the why.
I care more about how we can change.
Just a few short years ago, I did everything to chase happiness.
- You buy something, and you think that makes you happy.
- You hook up with people, and think that makes you happy.
- You get a well-paying job you don’t like, and think that makes you happy.
- You go on holiday, and you think that makes you happy.
But at the end of the day, you’re lying in your bed (alone or next to your spouse), and you think: “What’s next in this endless pursuit of happiness?”
Well, I can tell you what’s next: You, chasing something random that you believe makes you happy.
It’s all a façade. A hoax. A story that’s been made up.
Did Aristotle lie to us when he said:
“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”
I think we have to look at that quote from a different angle. Because when you read it, you think that happiness is the main goal. And that’s kind of what the quote says as well.
But here’s the thing: How do you achieve happiness?
Happiness can’t be a goal in itself. Therefore, it’s not something that’s achievable.
I believe that happiness is merely a byproduct of usefulness.
When I talk about this concept with friends, family, and colleagues, I always find it difficult to put this into words. But I’ll give it a try here.
Most things we do in life are just activities and experiences.
- You go on holiday.
- You go to work.
- You go shopping.
- You have drinks.
- You have dinner.
- You buy a car.
Those things should make you happy, right? But they are not useful. You’re not creating anything. You’re just consuming or doing something. And that’s great.
Don’t get me wrong. I love to go on holiday, or go shopping sometimes. But to be honest, it’s not what gives meaning to life.
What really makes me happy is when I’m useful. When I create something that others can use. Or even when I create something I can use.
For the longest time I found it difficult to explain the concept of usefulness and happiness. But when I recently ran into a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, the dots connected.
Emerson says:
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
And I didn’t get that before I became more conscious of what I’m doing with my life. And that always sounds heavy and all. But it’s actually really simple.
It comes down to this: What are you DOING that’s making a difference?
Did you do useful things in your lifetime? You don’t have to change the world or anything. Just make it a little bit better than you were born.
If you don’t know how, here are some ideas.
- Help your boss with something that’s not your responsibility.
- Take your mother to a spa.
- Create a collage with pictures (not a digital one) for your spouse.
- Write an article about the stuff you learned in life.
- Help the pregnant lady who also has a 2-year old with her stroller.
- Call your friend and ask if you can help with something.
- Build a standing desk.
- Start a business and hire an employee and treat them well.
That’s just some stuff I like to do. You can make up your own useful activities.
You see? It’s not anything big. But when you do little useful things every day, it adds up to a life that is well lived. A life that mattered.
The last thing I want is to be on my deathbed and realize there’s zero evidence that I ever existed.
Recently I read Not Fade Awayby Laurence Shames and Peter Barton. It’s about Peter Barton, the founder of Liberty Media, who shares his thoughts about dying from cancer.
It’s a very powerful book and it will definitely bring tears to your eyes. In the book, he writes about how he lived his life and how he found his calling. He also went to business school, and this is what he thought of his fellow MBA candidates:
“Bottom line: they were extremely bright people who would never really do anything, would never add much to society, would leave no legacy behind. I found this terribly sad, in the way that wasted potential is always sad.”
You can say that about all of us. And after he realized that in his thirties, he founded a company that turned him into a multi-millionaire.
Another person who always makes himself useful is Casey Neistat. For three years he posted a new video about his life and work on YouTube. And in every video, he’s doing something.
He also talks about how he always wants to do and create something. He even has a tattoo on his forearm that says “Do More.”
Most people would say, “why would you work more?” And then they turn on Netflix and watch back to back episodes of the latest TV show that came out.
A different mindset.
Being useful is a mindset. And like with any mindset, it starts with a decision. One day I woke up and thought to myself: What am I doing for this world? The answer was nothing.
And that same day I started writing. For you it can be painting, creating a product, helping elderly, or anything you feel like doing.
Don’t take it too seriously. Don’t overthink it. Just DO something that’s useful. Anything.
from：https://dariusforoux.com/happiness-usefulness/
