What the fuck should I do with my life? (A step-by-step process)
I’m not here to tell you, “It’s ok, you’ll figure it out one day,” or “where you are is exactly where you’re meant to be” or “trust the process.”
Bullshit.
Rebecca Beaton Follow
Nov 8, 2017 · 8 min read
Photo credit of Anton Glavas
整合自己想法的總結
當你開始看這篇文章的時候，或許你想要過得更好，這時候你可能會覺得工作的內容太繁瑣，在這裏工作完全不能激發你的潛能，認爲有些任務大材小用，想要知道自己人生中的各方面接下來怎麼做比較好。說也奇怪，明明已經9012年的現代人了，擁有隨手就可以獲得的知識，但還是覺得自己一事無成，迷惘，不知所措。
在座的各位其實需要找到適合自己的方法，一步一步清楚自己的人生價值。這裏介紹了5個步驟：
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描繪出自己想要的生活方式
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定義自己最重要的三件事！
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知道自己的強項是什麼？
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確定自己想要掌握的技能（軟技能、硬技能、想追求的）
以下是對這五個步驟的感觸與分享：
第一步，描繪出自己想要的生活方式？
迷惘什麼，渴望什麼，有時候需要自己多問自己幾遍，自己想要過什麼樣的生活，從具體的方面着手，看到別人阿里工資2w+，那麼他們需要一週6天加班到晚上11點，你希望生活是這樣子嗎？你適合做那種付出更大壓力並且高風險的創業型工作，還是更適合接受任務完成任務的工作方式？你想要什麼樣的工作氣氛？你想要和什麼樣的人在一起？哪一些事情你更願意花時間去做？哪些事會讓你開心？
第二步，定義自己最重要的三件事！
我們可以爲自己定義三件重要的事，比如：重構項目、21公里半馬、提高廚藝，這三件事是最近我的三件大事，我每天都圍繞這三件大事付出努力。
- 重構項目：比如最近在公司對某sso項目進行重構，使用fdfs來實現文件服務器，使用redis等技術替代本機內存實現緩存方案，使用kafak進行消息隊列來實現異步通信，將項目解耦+提高高可用。
- 21公里半馬：每週一週五都會去跑步，每次不少於4公里，週三打籃球，每天中午會進行拉腿運動；
- 提高廚藝：每週末，都會學做一道有難度的西點、或者是中式料理。
這裏不推薦設置過多的重要的事，三件大事就足夠了，有利於我們集中精力去做好。
第三步，知道自己的強項是什麼？
有些人會習慣性的自卑於自己的不足，卻不知道怎麼利用好自己的強項。這一點很好舉例子，拿面試的例子來說，爲什麼兩個面試者A和B，面試官最後面試通過了那個技術偏差的B？原因很簡單，那個B善於表現自己，技術不夠可以通過其他能力彌補，A可能不夠自信，但那個B卻可以侃侃而談。
瞭解自己的強項是什麼，相當於知道自己額外有什麼“自帶福利”，長得高打球好，容易結交愛打籃球的好友；愛唱歌的可以在適當的場合活躍氣氛表現自己，讓自己閃閃發光…
所以，與其糾結於自己不會什麼，有什麼不足，還不如想想自己擁有什麼，通過自己的強項能爲自己想要的生活做出什麼改變。
第四步，確定自己掌握的技能
這裏需要定義三種技術，1）軟技術、2）硬本領、3）感興趣的技術
定義好這三種類型，我們需要知道自己掌握哪一些技術，對號入座。比如說：
- 軟技術方面，比如：良好的溝通表達，文檔編寫能力，組織能力等等。
- 硬本領方面，俗稱喫飯手藝，比如我是一個java開發工程師，在重構項目，掌握了整個的項目架構、高併發場景的解決方案，分佈式搭建、流程圖的使用等等；
- 感興趣的技術，注重培養自己的第二技術，這可能和目前的工作毫無關係，但是這卻是你以後人生轉變不可缺少的一部分，也是可塑造的亮點。要是以後你不做這一行了，你能很 順利的跳到另外一行嗎？
第五步，記錄：問題/挑戰/機遇
接着，你需要圍繞自己想要的生活，拋出問題，記錄可能面臨的挑戰，挖掘裏邊的價值與機遇。
我的油管、小紅書、網易雲音樂、bilibili積累了好多自己感興趣的up主，有生活的、學習的等各方面，我們可以使用“問題/挑戰/機遇” 這種方法，對這些訂閱的內容做分類，bilibili舉例：關注了“小高姐”，是一個加拿大華裔做美食的，看她的視頻，我能解決什麼問題，學到什麼。
- 問題：因爲一開始我是想學免揉團做吐司麪包，帶着這個問題找出了一篇“小高姐”的視頻。
- 挑戰：記錄一些關鍵點，記錄實踐過程中遇到的困難。
- 機遇：通過這個視頻，我能學到麪糰發酵的原理、up主的心得、對一些廚具的使用與麪糰的特性有更多新的領悟
其中機遇，還可以再深層次的挖掘，比如說，爲什麼up主的視頻那麼多人觀看，其中需要什麼基本技能？視頻剪輯？視頻講解的藝術？怎樣經營好自己的bilibili？如何引流？如何通過視頻來賺錢？
第六步，大雜燴聯想
將上面的五個步驟整理在一起，進行聯想，同時有條理的記下來。
比如說，想要過的生活方式是什麼，圍繞想要過得生活方式定義最重要的三件事，並記錄自己的所可能遇到的問題，其中有什麼挑戰與機遇，通過自己的強項、自己掌握的技能如何去解決，並且查漏補缺如何做出下一步。
第七步，做好選擇
當完成了第六步，有條理的記錄下來後，你就會有很多想要生活方式的具體方案。
如果你順順利利的完成下來了，那此時此刻你一定會很興奮，因爲你會覺得：“原來我還有那麼多想要做的事”，“我怕是忙不過來了”，“此時我幹勁滿滿，我對生活充滿希望”。
（有這些想法也是因爲我就是這種感覺，充滿了希望，有了很多激情嚮往着未來，後面有機會再分享我自己根據這七大步驟的手稿吧）
英語學習
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Bullshit 胡說八道
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scratching 刮傷
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live up 充分發揮
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potential 潛力
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to just settle for what life hands me 隨遇而安
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to follow the pack and feel ok with that 隨波逐流
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restless 焦灼不安
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Future-focused 着眼於未來
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Antsy 坐立不安
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digress 分神
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strengths 優勢
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functional 功能的
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muse 冥想
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wrapping up 結束
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for granted 想當然
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meet 滿足
If you’re here reading this article, there’s something inside you that isn’t satisfied. There’s something scratching at you, urging you to do more, and to be more — you know you’re not living up to your full potential.
The feeling of not knowing what to do with my life is very familiar. In fact, some might say “dissatisfaction” is my middle name.
I’ve never been one to just settle for what life hands me, or to follow the pack and feel ok with that.
I’m restless. Antsy. Future-focused. Searching. Deep-thinking.
I tried environmental education… that wasn’t it.
I tried youth education… that wasn’t it.
I tried life coaching… that wasn’t it (although close).
I tried project management… that wasn’t it.
Then I finally — finally! — after 15 years of working in various jobs, figured out what I wanted to do with my life (at least for now): career coaching.
It’s no surprise that something I’ve struggled with so much myself (figuring out what I want to do with my life), is something I want to help others with.
Want a BIG HINT on what you could do with your life?
Look at what you struggle with most, overcome that struggle, then help others do the same.
It doesn’t have to be for your work, but I guarantee that will give a lot of meaning and fulfillment to your life.
But, I digress.
This article is really all about showing you a step-by-step process for figuring out what to do with your life.
This is the process I take my clients through to get clarity and you’re getting it here, now, for free (yay!).
My step-by-step process for getting clarity on what to do with your life
Step 1: Figure out your ideal lifestyle
How many hours do you want to be working? How much money do you want to be making? Do you want to be employed or self-employed? What kind of environment(s) do you want to spend your time in? What kind of people do you want to be around? Where do you want to be (i.e., what city, country)? What do you want to do for fun? What do you want to do for personal growth? What do you want to do for your health?
You get the idea!
Step 2: Get clear on your values
Your values are basically what’s most important to you in your life. For example, mine are: freedom, new experiences, connection, and vibrancy. You choose how you define your values.
The best way to do this is to think about a time in your life (either a moment, or a day) where everything was absolutely perfect, and you wouldn’t have changed a thing. Write out the experience and what you loved about it. Then ask yourself, what are the values in there?
For example, if the experience that comes to mind for you is hiking by yourself in Thailand, some of the values might be: independence, travel, adventure, and freedom.
If you’re really stuck on coming up with values, I recommend reviewing Max Neef’s list of 9 fundamental human needs. What values come up for you as you read this list?
Once you have your list of values, rank them until you get it down to your top 3–5. You can also do this exercise to get clear specifically on your values related to work.
Step 3: Get to know your strengths
Your strengths are what you’re naturally good at. You might not realize you have a particular strength because it’s always come easily to you, and you may assume it comes easily to everyone else too.
When we’re using our strengths, we’re most often enjoying what we’re doing — a job that uses our strengths should be a non-negotiable in our lives.
To help you get clear on your unique strengths, I wrote a separate article on how to figure out your strengths.
Step 4: Determine your skills
Your skills are different from your strengths because you learn them over time — you aren’t born with any skills.
Write out 3 lists when it comes to your skills: your soft skills (i.e., less tangible skills such as “communication”, “leadership”, or “adaptability”), your hard skills (i.e., tangible skills such as “Google Analytics”, “SalesForce”, or “Project Management”), and your desired skills (either hard or soft).
Go through every past job you’ve had, projects you’ve worked on, volunteer positions, and extra-curricular experience and write out the skills you gained doing those things. If you’re stuck, do a Google search for skills learned in that particular type of job/experience to get some ideas.
Step 5: Identify Problems/Challenges/Opportunities
What are some of the problems/challenges/opportunities you see in the world around you?
Think about documentaries you watch, blogs you subscribe to, newspaper articles you’re drawn to, magazines or books you read, YouTube videos you watch, or topics you love to talk about — what are the themes/topics you’re drawn to the most?
Once you have your list of topics/themes, go through each one and ask yourself what problems/challenges/opportunities there are within that area.
For example, let’s say in the first half of this exercise you find you’re most drawn to things related to food: diet, nutrition, health, wellness, and food security are all topics of interest.
When it comes to health, some of the problems/challenges you identify might be obesity, diabetes, low energy, anxiety, and depression.
Some of the opportunities might be public health education, functional medicine, supplements, or cleaner diets.
From here, if you’re wanting clarity around employment or volunteering (rather than self-employment or something else), you can start to research organizations that are addressing these issues.
Going back to the food example, you might seek out supplement companies, health food stores, healthy meal delivery services, functional medicine clinics, or government branches related to public health.
Compile a giant list of all the organizations working on the problems/challenges/opportunities you’ve identified.
Now, you might be thinking this exercise is useless because the problems/challenges/opportunities you identified are in one specific area and you already know you don’t want to become an expert in that area.
However, there are a huuuuge variety of things you could do in any area you’ve identified that have nothing to do with the subject topic.
For example, if you identified an interest in healthy meal delivery, it doesn’t mean you need to become a nutritionist or expert in healthy meals. A healthy meal delivery service needs all kinds of people with a variety of strengths and skills: sales, marketing, project management, administration, web/app development, product design, UX/UI design, bookkeeping, accounting, people management, customer support, lawyers, and probably a number of other things I’m not thinking of!
Step 6: Mush Everything Together
Now, it’s time to put everything together and come up with some tangible ideas for what to do with your life (at least for now — because it’s probably going to change! Good news is you can re-visit this process at any time.)
If you’re going the employment or volunteer route:
Look at the list of organizations you have and do some research to identify challenges those organizations have to which you could contribute your strengths/skills and that meet your values and lifestyle goals.
For example, say you scoped out some health food stores and you have really strong analytical skills — you might be suited to be a market research analyst or data analyst at a health food store.
Or say you scoped out some companies that sell supplements and you have really strong people skills — you might be suited to be on the sales team or manage the customer success team at a supplement company.
If you’re going the self-employment route:
Look at the problems/challenges/opportunities you’ve identified and consider: what are the ways you could address those problems/challenges/opportunities using your strengths, skills, and values?
Brainstorm away!
Step 7: Research Your Options
Once you have a list of ideas, the final step is to research the ones you are most excited about. Do what you need to do to get that last bit of clarity:
- Take a free online course.
- Research the employment outlook for that field. (Make sure it won’t be taken over by robots
- Check out the education requirements.
- Research the expected salary.
- Conduct some informational interviews. (Check out my article on How to Request, Conduct, and Follow-up on an Informational Interview.)
- Volunteer or take on a “beta-test” client in exchange for feedback.
Before wrapping up, I want to acknowledge that not everyone has the freedom to do what they choose in life and live out their desires. I’ve really written this article for those of us who are lucky enough to have that choice — let’s not take our freedom to do what we want in life for granted.
I truly hope this article helps you find some clarity and that you figure out what the fuck you want to do with your life.
Hugs,
-Rebecca
P.S. — Want more insights into what to do with your life? I share regularly on my Facebook page. Come give it a like!
from:
https://medium.com/better-humans/what-the-fuck-should-i-do-with-my-life-a-step-by-step-process-ca077d09d6f7