Why Don’t We Know How to Protect Our Time?
The cognitive errors that make us waste our most valuable resource
整合自己想法的總結
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不知不覺的浪費時間：有時候不可避免需要和囉嗦的鄰居互動，需要自己多花額外的時間去回覆郵件、忙工作上大大小小的事，開不完的不同會議，把時間很平均的浪費在我們認爲“合理”以上這些事情上。
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時間與錢：我們經常認爲浪費時間是沒什麼所謂的，覺得我們時間有的是，而且可氣的是，我們還順理成章的樣子，但浪費錢卻不行，因爲我們心底會會覺得錢是有價值的，而時間卻不一定，特別是花在家人的時間上。
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覺得合情合理的浪費時間，四大原因：
- 認爲我們自己有足夠多的時間，覺得浪費一點點也可以接受
- 總是在意其他人的感受，擔心自己說不，會讓對方不喜歡。
- 沒有意識到要讓自己的時間都充滿價值
- 缺少時間的價值觀與方法，潛意識更傾向於接受“輕鬆”的事情
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原因一：認爲我們自己有足夠多的時間，覺得浪費一點點也可以接受
浪費時間在時間軸體現在平均上，比如開一個沒什麼價值的會議，需要1小時找開會的地方，1小時開會，1小時找地方住，不知不覺時間就浪費掉了，但是自己會覺得很合情合理，但也因爲時間被平均掉了，零散後的時間也做不了其他更有價值的事。
- 原因二：總是在意其他人的感受，擔心自己說不會讓對方不喜歡。
我們應該把角度轉到愛自己和自己愛的人身上，比如我們的家人，因爲我們如果把自己寶貴的時間浪費在一些“瑣事”上（比如毫無意義的聊天），那麼我們給家人互動的時間也就會相對應的減少，而這是很不值得的，畢竟孰重孰輕這毋庸置疑。
- 原因三：沒有意識到要讓自己的時間都充滿價值
需要強調自己的時間是能夠創造更多有價值的事情，樹立這種價值觀。這樣子即使是被要求做某一些事，我們打心底也知道哪些事更值得做。
- 原因四：缺少時間的價值觀與方法，潛意識更傾向於接受“輕鬆”的事情
我們經常會刷bilibili，刷着刷着時間就過去了，而且會上癮；這是我們缺少時間價值觀，我們會更舒服的接受更加輕鬆的事情；有時候也意識到這樣子做不妥，但是卻沒有一個合理的手段告訴並阻止自己不該這麼做。
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時間與幫忙：當然在別人要尋求一些幫助，自己爲了實現更高價值而拒絕的同時，可以提供一些建議，維持好各自關係。
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爭取時間：把一些亂七八糟的事情都放下，無意義的聊天、不重要的會議、不緊急的郵件等等，這樣子纔會有大塊的聚集時間去投入更有價值的事情，比如陪伴家人，比如學習某個知識難點或看一本自己想看的書（大塊的時間才更能夠沉下心思考）
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己所不欲勿施於人：明白自己時間的寶貴，同樣也要尊重別人的時間！需要互相尊重，怎樣對待自己，也要同樣的態度去理解其他人的時間，不能侵犯他們時間上的自由。
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start now：看完這篇文章，就開始珍惜自己的時間吧！
Credit: Westend61/Getty
All day, we let it happen. A neighbor comes by and babbles on about a bunch of nonsense, and we politely nod, even if we are in a hurry. Or some co-workers start gossiping about something petty, and we let ourselves get drawn in, never stopping to think about the time wasted. Or we get a message from an acquaintance that says, “Can I pick your brain?” We tell them, “Sure thing!” because isn’t it rude to say no?
Stoic philosopher Seneca once marveled at how stupid even the smartest people are when it comes to protecting their time: “No person hands out their money to passersby, but to how many do each of us hand out our lives! We’re tightfisted with property and money, yet think too little of wasting time, the one thing about which we should all be the toughest misers.”
More than 2,000 years later, why are we still allowing our most valuable resource to slip from our grasp? I believe there are four reasons.
We think we have plenty of time
We’re told we’ll live, on average, to age 78. That seems like a nearly unlimited amount of time. Of course we can spare 20 minutes here or there. Sure, I’ll agree to that meeting across town that’s going to take me an hour to get to, an hour to get back from, and an hour after that to get settled back in. It’s just another Tuesday, right?
We don’t realize that death hangs over all of us. Lifespans are averages. Nothing is guaranteed. More importantly, time, like money, compounds. So when you’re wasting time, you’re wasting not only the few minutes in front of you, but all that would have been possible had you saved it and directed it properly.
We’re afraid people won’t like hearing “no”
We don’t want to be the bad guy. So we say yes — or we say “maybe”— when we really want to decline.
Nothing helped me shake this off quite like having kids. I realized that when I agreed to some unnecessary obligation, the person who suffered was an innocent two-year-old. You have to understand that saying “yes” to this means you are saying “no” to that. And that is often family or other people you care about most. So today, I have a lot less trouble ignoring an email from someone I don’t want to talk to or in giving a firm “no” to something that doesn’t serve my purpose. Because as mean as that might seem, it’s a lot less mean than letting my son go to bed without a hug from me.
We don’t value ourselves enough
Part of the reason we lack the confidence to say “no” and are afraid of hurting people’s feelings is that we don’t think we deserve to put ourselves first. There is a haunting clip in which Joan Rivers, well into her seventies, already one of the most accomplished and respected and talented comedians of all time, is asked why she keeps working, why she is always on the road, always looking for more gigs. Telling the interviewer about the fear that drives her, she holds up an empty calendar and says, “If my book ever looked like this, it would mean that nobody wants me, that everything I ever tried to do in life didn’t work. Nobody cared and I’ve been totally forgotten.”
God, how sad is that? This was Joan Rivers that we’re talking about. None of us are immune to the need to be in demand. One of the reasons why I charge for my time — whether as a marketer or a writer — is that I know what I am worth, but I also remind myself that my fee is not my worth. The key is to be firm, but keep your identity out of it.
We have not developed the muscle required for enforcing boundaries
Since most of us don’t have any good systems in place, we default to our weaknesses. We default to pulling out a phone to see what’s going on. We let Netflix and YouTube auto-suggest the next video and the next video and the next video. We let LinkedIn messages and Twitter DMs go right to our inbox, where people can ask us to do things. Our boss can text us at 2 a.m. Think about the offices we used to see in movies — they were big and tucked away behind doors and had secretaries in front of them. Now everyone has an open office where anyone can find them at any time.
Without any protection, we’re put on the spot and far more susceptible to pressure and short-term thinking. A pilot or an EMT doesn’t have this problem. They say, “No sorry, I’m on call tomorrow. I can’t go out.” The boss in the movies used to be able to tell his secretary, “Don’t tell anyone I’m here.”
I have spent a lot of time thinking about what I want my life to look like. Every minute I spend on a phone call that could have been an email, or a meeting that could have been a phone cal, is time I didn’t get to spend writing. It’s time I didn’t spend with my family. I often talk to my assistant about protecting my calendar. (Never more than three things in one day is a rule we have.) When I pull up my schedule and it’s mostly blank, unlike Joan Rivers, I feel awesome.
I know where I want to spend my time — and I don’t want it taken without my consent. I know what it’s worth.
But here’s the other thing: You can say no while still helping people. While I can’t respond to every email I get, I try to take the topics that people have questions about and write articles to address them. And when I say no to requests, I try to think: “No, but I am willing to do _______ instead.” There is a generosity to helping people in this way, but also a benefit if the favor is managed properly.
A smart philanthropist gives away their excess profit, but not the principal that allows them to keep earning money to give away. Applying this to time management took a lot of mistakes for me to learn. I get better at it as I go.
I know I am not antisocial, but I do take my security seriously. I know where I want to spend my time — and I don’t want it taken without my consent. I know what it’s worth.
As I’ve said before, stillness is the key to the kind of life you want, to all the things that make the good life possible.
So I avoid phone calls. I decline meeting requests. I’d rather not get a quick coffee. I don’t like podcast invitations. And I ignore most of the emails I get sent.
That’s not how I want to spend my precious life and I’m not going to be guilted into doing it. I’m going to try not to inflict those things on other people. Because it’s not that my time is more valuable than anyone else’s, it’s that time is valuable period, and we need to respect that.
Starting now.
from ： https://forge.medium.com/why-dont-we-know-how-to-protect-our-time-a88859deea2e
單詞學習
- susceptible 易受影響的；易感動的；容許…的
- immue 免疫的；免於……的，免除的
- philanthropist 慈善家
- inflict 遭受
- secretaries 祕書，大臣
- principal 主要的，資本，當事人
- generosity 大方的
