What the fuck should I do with my life? (A step-by-step process)
I’m not here to tell you, “It’s ok, you’ll figure it out one day,” or “where you are is exactly where you’re meant to be” or “trust the process.”
Bullshit.
Rebecca Beaton Follow
Nov 8, 2017 · 8 min read
Photo credit of Anton Glavas
整合自己想法的总结
当你开始看这篇文章的时候，或许你想要过得更好，这时候你可能会觉得工作的内容太繁琐，在这里工作完全不能激发你的潜能，认为有些任务大材小用，想要知道自己人生中的各方面接下来怎么做比较好。说也奇怪，明明已经9012年的现代人了，拥有随手就可以获得的知识，但还是觉得自己一事无成，迷惘，不知所措。
在座的各位其实需要找到适合自己的方法，一步一步清楚自己的人生价值。这里介绍了5个步骤：
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描绘出自己想要的生活方式
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定义自己最重要的三件事！
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知道自己的强项是什么？
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确定自己想要掌握的技能（软技能、硬技能、想追求的）
以下是对这五个步骤的感触与分享：
第一步，描绘出自己想要的生活方式？
迷惘什么，渴望什么，有时候需要自己多问自己几遍，自己想要过什么样的生活，从具体的方面着手，看到别人阿里工资2w+，那么他们需要一周6天加班到晚上11点，你希望生活是这样子吗？你适合做那种付出更大压力并且高风险的创业型工作，还是更适合接受任务完成任务的工作方式？你想要什么样的工作气氛？你想要和什么样的人在一起？哪一些事情你更愿意花时间去做？哪些事会让你开心？
第二步，定义自己最重要的三件事！
我们可以为自己定义三件重要的事，比如：重构项目、21公里半马、提高厨艺，这三件事是最近我的三件大事，我每天都围绕这三件大事付出努力。
- 重构项目：比如最近在公司对某sso项目进行重构，使用fdfs来实现文件服务器，使用redis等技术替代本机内存实现缓存方案，使用kafak进行消息队列来实现异步通信，将项目解耦+提高高可用。
- 21公里半马：每周一周五都会去跑步，每次不少于4公里，周三打篮球，每天中午会进行拉腿运动；
- 提高厨艺：每周末，都会学做一道有难度的西点、或者是中式料理。
这里不推荐设置过多的重要的事，三件大事就足够了，有利于我们集中精力去做好。
第三步，知道自己的强项是什么？
有些人会习惯性的自卑于自己的不足，却不知道怎么利用好自己的强项。这一点很好举例子，拿面试的例子来说，为什么两个面试者A和B，面试官最后面试通过了那个技术偏差的B？原因很简单，那个B善于表现自己，技术不够可以通过其他能力弥补，A可能不够自信，但那个B却可以侃侃而谈。
了解自己的强项是什么，相当于知道自己额外有什么“自带福利”，长得高打球好，容易结交爱打篮球的好友；爱唱歌的可以在适当的场合活跃气氛表现自己，让自己闪闪发光…
所以，与其纠结于自己不会什么，有什么不足，还不如想想自己拥有什么，通过自己的强项能为自己想要的生活做出什么改变。
第四步，确定自己掌握的技能
这里需要定义三种技术，1）软技术、2）硬本领、3）感兴趣的技术
定义好这三种类型，我们需要知道自己掌握哪一些技术，对号入座。比如说：
- 软技术方面，比如：良好的沟通表达，文档编写能力，组织能力等等。
- 硬本领方面，俗称吃饭手艺，比如我是一个java开发工程师，在重构项目，掌握了整个的项目架构、高并发场景的解决方案，分布式搭建、流程图的使用等等；
- 感兴趣的技术，注重培养自己的第二技术，这可能和目前的工作毫无关系，但是这却是你以后人生转变不可缺少的一部分，也是可塑造的亮点。要是以后你不做这一行了，你能很 顺利的跳到另外一行吗？
第五步，记录：问题/挑战/机遇
接着，你需要围绕自己想要的生活，抛出问题，记录可能面临的挑战，挖掘里边的价值与机遇。
我的油管、小红书、网易云音乐、bilibili积累了好多自己感兴趣的up主，有生活的、学习的等各方面，我们可以使用“问题/挑战/机遇” 这种方法，对这些订阅的内容做分类，bilibili举例：关注了“小高姐”，是一个加拿大华裔做美食的，看她的视频，我能解决什么问题，学到什么。
- 问题：因为一开始我是想学免揉团做吐司面包，带着这个问题找出了一篇“小高姐”的视频。
- 挑战：记录一些关键点，记录实践过程中遇到的困难。
- 机遇：通过这个视频，我能学到面团发酵的原理、up主的心得、对一些厨具的使用与面团的特性有更多新的领悟
其中机遇，还可以再深层次的挖掘，比如说，为什么up主的视频那么多人观看，其中需要什么基本技能？视频剪辑？视频讲解的艺术？怎样经营好自己的bilibili？如何引流？如何通过视频来赚钱？
第六步，大杂烩联想
将上面的五个步骤整理在一起，进行联想，同时有条理的记下来。
比如说，想要过的生活方式是什么，围绕想要过得生活方式定义最重要的三件事，并记录自己的所可能遇到的问题，其中有什么挑战与机遇，通过自己的强项、自己掌握的技能如何去解决，并且查漏补缺如何做出下一步。
第七步，做好选择
当完成了第六步，有条理的记录下来后，你就会有很多想要生活方式的具体方案。
如果你顺顺利利的完成下来了，那此时此刻你一定会很兴奋，因为你会觉得：“原来我还有那么多想要做的事”，“我怕是忙不过来了”，“此时我干劲满满，我对生活充满希望”。
（有这些想法也是因为我就是这种感觉，充满了希望，有了很多激情向往着未来，后面有机会再分享我自己根据这七大步骤的手稿吧）
英语学习
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Bullshit 胡说八道
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scratching 刮伤
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live up 充分发挥
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potential 潜力
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to just settle for what life hands me 随遇而安
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to follow the pack and feel ok with that 随波逐流
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restless 焦灼不安
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Future-focused 着眼于未来
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Antsy 坐立不安
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digress 分神
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strengths 优势
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functional 功能的
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muse 冥想
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wrapping up 结束
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for granted 想当然
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meet 满足
If you’re here reading this article, there’s something inside you that isn’t satisfied. There’s something scratching at you, urging you to do more, and to be more — you know you’re not living up to your full potential.
The feeling of not knowing what to do with my life is very familiar. In fact, some might say “dissatisfaction” is my middle name.
I’ve never been one to just settle for what life hands me, or to follow the pack and feel ok with that.
I’m restless. Antsy. Future-focused. Searching. Deep-thinking.
I tried environmental education… that wasn’t it.
I tried youth education… that wasn’t it.
I tried life coaching… that wasn’t it (although close).
I tried project management… that wasn’t it.
Then I finally — finally! — after 15 years of working in various jobs, figured out what I wanted to do with my life (at least for now): career coaching.
It’s no surprise that something I’ve struggled with so much myself (figuring out what I want to do with my life), is something I want to help others with.
Want a BIG HINT on what you could do with your life?
Look at what you struggle with most, overcome that struggle, then help others do the same.
It doesn’t have to be for your work, but I guarantee that will give a lot of meaning and fulfillment to your life.
But, I digress.
This article is really all about showing you a step-by-step process for figuring out what to do with your life.
This is the process I take my clients through to get clarity and you’re getting it here, now, for free (yay!).
My step-by-step process for getting clarity on what to do with your life
Step 1: Figure out your ideal lifestyle
How many hours do you want to be working? How much money do you want to be making? Do you want to be employed or self-employed? What kind of environment(s) do you want to spend your time in? What kind of people do you want to be around? Where do you want to be (i.e., what city, country)? What do you want to do for fun? What do you want to do for personal growth? What do you want to do for your health?
You get the idea!
Step 2: Get clear on your values
Your values are basically what’s most important to you in your life. For example, mine are: freedom, new experiences, connection, and vibrancy. You choose how you define your values.
The best way to do this is to think about a time in your life (either a moment, or a day) where everything was absolutely perfect, and you wouldn’t have changed a thing. Write out the experience and what you loved about it. Then ask yourself, what are the values in there?
For example, if the experience that comes to mind for you is hiking by yourself in Thailand, some of the values might be: independence, travel, adventure, and freedom.
If you’re really stuck on coming up with values, I recommend reviewing Max Neef’s list of 9 fundamental human needs. What values come up for you as you read this list?
Once you have your list of values, rank them until you get it down to your top 3–5. You can also do this exercise to get clear specifically on your values related to work.
Step 3: Get to know your strengths
Your strengths are what you’re naturally good at. You might not realize you have a particular strength because it’s always come easily to you, and you may assume it comes easily to everyone else too.
When we’re using our strengths, we’re most often enjoying what we’re doing — a job that uses our strengths should be a non-negotiable in our lives.
To help you get clear on your unique strengths, I wrote a separate article on how to figure out your strengths.
Step 4: Determine your skills
Your skills are different from your strengths because you learn them over time — you aren’t born with any skills.
Write out 3 lists when it comes to your skills: your soft skills (i.e., less tangible skills such as “communication”, “leadership”, or “adaptability”), your hard skills (i.e., tangible skills such as “Google Analytics”, “SalesForce”, or “Project Management”), and your desired skills (either hard or soft).
Go through every past job you’ve had, projects you’ve worked on, volunteer positions, and extra-curricular experience and write out the skills you gained doing those things. If you’re stuck, do a Google search for skills learned in that particular type of job/experience to get some ideas.
Step 5: Identify Problems/Challenges/Opportunities
What are some of the problems/challenges/opportunities you see in the world around you?
Think about documentaries you watch, blogs you subscribe to, newspaper articles you’re drawn to, magazines or books you read, YouTube videos you watch, or topics you love to talk about — what are the themes/topics you’re drawn to the most?
Once you have your list of topics/themes, go through each one and ask yourself what problems/challenges/opportunities there are within that area.
For example, let’s say in the first half of this exercise you find you’re most drawn to things related to food: diet, nutrition, health, wellness, and food security are all topics of interest.
When it comes to health, some of the problems/challenges you identify might be obesity, diabetes, low energy, anxiety, and depression.
Some of the opportunities might be public health education, functional medicine, supplements, or cleaner diets.
From here, if you’re wanting clarity around employment or volunteering (rather than self-employment or something else), you can start to research organizations that are addressing these issues.
Going back to the food example, you might seek out supplement companies, health food stores, healthy meal delivery services, functional medicine clinics, or government branches related to public health.
Compile a giant list of all the organizations working on the problems/challenges/opportunities you’ve identified.
Now, you might be thinking this exercise is useless because the problems/challenges/opportunities you identified are in one specific area and you already know you don’t want to become an expert in that area.
However, there are a huuuuge variety of things you could do in any area you’ve identified that have nothing to do with the subject topic.
For example, if you identified an interest in healthy meal delivery, it doesn’t mean you need to become a nutritionist or expert in healthy meals. A healthy meal delivery service needs all kinds of people with a variety of strengths and skills: sales, marketing, project management, administration, web/app development, product design, UX/UI design, bookkeeping, accounting, people management, customer support, lawyers, and probably a number of other things I’m not thinking of!
Step 6: Mush Everything Together
Now, it’s time to put everything together and come up with some tangible ideas for what to do with your life (at least for now — because it’s probably going to change! Good news is you can re-visit this process at any time.)
If you’re going the employment or volunteer route:
Look at the list of organizations you have and do some research to identify challenges those organizations have to which you could contribute your strengths/skills and that meet your values and lifestyle goals.
For example, say you scoped out some health food stores and you have really strong analytical skills — you might be suited to be a market research analyst or data analyst at a health food store.
Or say you scoped out some companies that sell supplements and you have really strong people skills — you might be suited to be on the sales team or manage the customer success team at a supplement company.
If you’re going the self-employment route:
Look at the problems/challenges/opportunities you’ve identified and consider: what are the ways you could address those problems/challenges/opportunities using your strengths, skills, and values?
Brainstorm away!
Step 7: Research Your Options
Once you have a list of ideas, the final step is to research the ones you are most excited about. Do what you need to do to get that last bit of clarity:
- Take a free online course.
- Research the employment outlook for that field. (Make sure it won’t be taken over by robots
- Check out the education requirements.
- Research the expected salary.
- Conduct some informational interviews. (Check out my article on How to Request, Conduct, and Follow-up on an Informational Interview.)
- Volunteer or take on a “beta-test” client in exchange for feedback.
Before wrapping up, I want to acknowledge that not everyone has the freedom to do what they choose in life and live out their desires. I’ve really written this article for those of us who are lucky enough to have that choice — let’s not take our freedom to do what we want in life for granted.
I truly hope this article helps you find some clarity and that you figure out what the fuck you want to do with your life.
Hugs,
-Rebecca
P.S. — Want more insights into what to do with your life? I share regularly on my Facebook page. Come give it a like!
from:
https://medium.com/better-humans/what-the-fuck-should-i-do-with-my-life-a-step-by-step-process-ca077d09d6f7